Gifted hands the Ben Carson story

If you have a shortage of friends look inside of you it’ll tell you what to do, make an examination

You’ll find the faults in you. 

You decide whether you were going to give up or auntie when the going gets tough. You are the captain of your own ship. If you don’t succeed and you have yourself to blame. Sonya Carson 

Success is determined not by whether or not you face obstacles, but by your reaction to them. And if you look at these obstacles as a containing fence, they become your excuse for failure. If you look at them as a hurdle, each one strengthens you for the next.

Strong mothers, strong sons

We are good enough, just the way we are, for our sons. 

In order for our sons to be happy, we need to know exactly what makes them feel loved. And what doesn’t. 

Help Boys know they are loved merely for being who they are. We enjoy their company. 

(Cuddles, scratch back at bedtime, lay down with them, small gifts & notes, 1:1 walks/dates, card games, regularly doing what they want to do)

Roll up your emotional sleeves and move towards them. 

Every one of our sons leaves home at some point. They become men who can return to help us mothers in ways that no other human can. They can teach us how to live our lives better. If we hold on long enough, and love them always, they come back to us.

Having hope really isn’t about outward success: It is an inward decision. Hope tells a man that life will be better, that good things lie ahead regardless of his outward state. Hope is something that he feels deeply whether he is successful or not, and therefore it gives him deep satisfaction. Hope brings life to his soul.

2.help them to identify and articulate feelings. There is a truth about boys. I think they are far more sensitive than girls. 

You are already wired with everything you need to be a great mom. Trust that you have all the equipment you need to help him. 

Stop. Sit. Listen. 

Being a really good listener (incl. observe, repeat back what you heard) is what being a really good mom is all about. Do you really want to listen? Or are bc you’re supposed to? Do you honestly want to hear what he has to say?

Boys feel the range and depth of emotions like girls do. They just don’t express them the same. 

Mere Christianity -CS Lewis

I’m afraid the only safe rule is that we give more than we can spare. CS Lewis 

In the same way a Christian is not a man who never goes wrong, but a man is enabled to repent and pick himself up and begin over again after each stumble--because the Christ-life is inside him, repairing him all the time, enabling him to repeat (in some degree) the kind of voluntary death which Christ Himself carried out.

It is better to forget about yourself altogether. 

The moment you have a self at all, there is a possibility of putting yourself first - wanting to be the centre - wanting to be God, in fact. That was the sin of Satan: and that was the sin he taught the human race. Some people think the fall of man had something to do with sex, but that is a mistake...what Satan put into the heads of our remote ancestors was the idea that they 'could be like Gods' - could set up on their own as if they had created themselves - be their own masters - invent some sort of happiness for themselves outside God, apart from God. And out of that hopeless attempt has come...the long terrible story of man trying to find something other than God which will make him happy.

It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that other larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. Standing back from all your natural fussings and frettings; coming in out of the wind.

The more you obey your conscience, the more your conscience will demand of you.

8. C. Is harder and easier. New self...

The terrible thing, the almost impossible thing, is to hand over your whole self--all your wishes and precautions--to Christ. But it is far easier than what we are all trying to do instead. For what we are trying to do is to remain what we call "ourselves," to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be "good.

Laziness means more work in the long run. 

The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands -Dr. Laura

“The people and circumstances around me do not make me what I am, they reveal who I am” 

“It is attitude, infinitely more than circumstance, that determines the quality of life. Life is often quite tough, challenging us to choose between seemingly esoteric, intangible ideals and getting goodies or good vibes right now. You have character when you most often choose ideals.” 

“And you know, when it comes to a long-term, committed relationship: Love is not enough. There are issues of honor, respect, mutuality, sacrifice, acceptance, supportiveness, similarity of life values and morality, to name only a few. They, too, don't come without struggling and striving, but, oh, are they worth it!” 

“Venting every feeling isn't mature. Learning to deal with uncomfortable and unpleasant feelings is an important aspect of maturity.” 

“Self-esteem is earned! When you dare to dream, dare to follow that dream, dare to suffer through the pain, sacrifice, self-doubts, and friction from the world--when you show such courage and tenacity--you will genuinely impress yourself. And most important, you will treat yourself accordingly and not settle for less from others--at least, not for long.” 

“The TEN Commandments are not prefaced with "If you're in the mood".” 

“Children are our second chance to have a great parent-child relationship.” 

“You need to be a "good-enough mom"--attentive, loving, and responsive. No one is the perfect mom. As long as you try to be perfect, you will continue to be insignificant in your own eyes.” 

“How you feel should be secondary to the good you can do.” 

“So instead of feeling sorry for yourself, realize that your life, just like a developing child's, has phases--and now you're in the mommy phase.”

“The time spent on family is not a sacrifice. You are living a life with choices; when you make the right ones, you have a good life.” 

“It’s about what I’m giving that makes the difference... The most important thing to give your husband is yourself.”

Grit -Angela Duckworth

Grit is mutable, not fixed.

In order to do something exceptionally well, you have to over extend yourself. 

Those who struggle early may learn it better. 

Where I excel is ridiculous, sickening work ethic. Will smith

There’s nothing more interesting than watching people grow 

80% success and anything, including any relationships, is showing up 

Grit is more about stamina than intensity. 

Grit isn’t just working incredibly hard

Enthusiasm is common, and endurance is rare. 

Passion begins with intrinsically enjoying what you do. 

Most of us become more conscientious, confident, caring, and calm with life experience.

Have a fierce resolve in everything you do.” “Demonstrate determination, resiliency, and tenacity.” “Do not let temporary setbacks become permanent excuses.” And, finally, “Use mistakes and problems as opportunities to get better—not reasons to quit.

When it comes to how we fare in the marathon of life, effort counts tremendously. 

Gottman

Trust is built in very small moments, which I call 'sliding door' moments. In any interaction, there is a possibility of connecting with your partner or turning away from your partner. One such moment is not important, but if you're always choosing to turn away, then trust erodes in a relationship- very gradually, very slowly.

When parents offer their children empathy and help them to cope with negative feelings like anger, sadness, and fear, parents build bridges of loyalty and affection.

I’ve found 94 percent of the time that couples who put a positive spin on their marriage’s history are likely to have a happy future as well. When happy memories are distorted, it’s a sign that the marriage needs help.

The greatest gift a couple can give their baby is a loving relationship, because that relationship nourishes Baby’s development. The stronger the connection between parents, the healthier the child can grow, both emotionally and intellectually. Children can’t thrive in stormy seas.

Today, children’s safety comes from their fathers’ hearts. It is based on men being present with their children emotionally as well as physically.

...values the child’s negative emotions as an opportunity for intimacy. 

I call the parents who get involved with their children’s feelings “Emotion Coaches.” Much like athletic coaches, they teach their children strategies to deal with life’s ups and downs. They don’t object to their children’s displays of anger, sadness, or fear. Nor do they ignore them. Instead, they accept negative emotions as a fact of life and they use emotional moments as opportunities for teaching their kids important life lessons and building closer relationships with them.

Couples with a strong friendship have a lot more access to their humor, affection, and the positive energy that make it possible to have disagreements or to live with them in a much more constructive and creative way. It’s about earning and building up points.

Beneath the scarlet sky

I think they were smart. If a bomb is coming at you, it’s coming out you. 

You can’t go around worrying about it. Just go on doing what you love, and go on enjoying your life. -Mr. Beltramini 

We must give thanks to this day and for everyday, no matter how flawed. Give your gratitude to God and have faith in a better tomorrow. -Father Ray

You know, my young friend, I will be ninety years old next year, and life is still a constant surprise to me. We never know what will happen next, what we will see, and what important person will come into our life, or what important person we will lose. Life is change, constant change, and unless we are lucky enough to find comedy in it, change is nearly always a drama, if not a tragedy. But after everything, and even when the skies turn scarlet and threatening, I still believe that if we are lucky enough to be alive, we must give thanks for the miracle of every moment of every day, no matter how flawed.

How do you find happiness?” Anna paused, then said, “You start by looking right around you for the blessings you have.

The best thing is to grieve for the people you loved and lost, and then welcome and love the new people life puts in front of you

Sometimes happiness comes to us. But usually you have to seek it out.

Nothing in life worth doing is easy. 

By opening our hearts, revealing our scars, we are made human and flawed and whole. 

Do what I sometimes do when I get scared: imagine you’re someone else, someone who’s far braver and smarter.

The distance doesn’t matter. Just think about your next step. 

Doing favors,” Leyers said. “They help wondrously over the course of a lifetime. When you have done men favors, when you look out for others so they can prosper, they owe you. With each favor, you become stronger, more supported. It is a law of nature.” “Yes?” Pino said. “Yes,” Leyers said. “You can never go wrong in this way, because there will be times when you will need a favor, and it will be right there waiting to come to the rescue. This practice has saved me more than once.

But after everything, and even when the skies turn scarlet and threatening, I still believe that if we are lucky enough to be alive, we must give thanks for the miracle of every moment of every day, no matter how flawed. And we must have faith in God, and in the Universe, and in a better tomorrow, even if that faith is not always deserved.” “Pino

how can you survive what life throws at you if you cannot laugh and love. 

Becoming the lords first responders -Fackrell

Pray daily that the Lord will place someone in need in our path or thoughts. 

Now I see I was connected with the Lord at church in ways I did not realize at the moment. 

The substance that is so important to give to others in need is the love of God. 

Rasbands talk first responder 

Why not me?

I now try very diligently to be the Saint who can be happy under every circumstance. 

Efforts in spiritual study can have earthly benefits as well as eternal rewards. P67

He was put in my path room, and I will give him some money. Then my duty is done. What he does with the money is between him and the Lord. 

There is but one path of safety to the lds and that is the path of duty. H. J. Grant

When someone takes funds out of our random acts of kindness savings account, they make an entry in the bank journal, describing the acts of kindness they performed. This practice has brought mom‘s joy to our family.

The more closely you follow divine guidance, the greater will be your happiness. For eternity. Scott

Promptings are usually simple and require very little time commitment. 

Women and men who can hear the voice of the Lord, and who respond to those promptings, become invaluable instruments in His hands. Ballard

Keep one item on the list each week: look for opportunities to perform service for others. 

Upon receiving revelation, I was prompted to ask “is there more I should know?” 

Record, review, edit, and add upon impressions!

“To acquire spiritual guidance” -Richard G Scott

“Hum your favorite him“ page 152

“Forgiveness is powerful spiritual medicine.” “Balm of Gilead” -Packer

The power of words and speaking with the tongue of angels. 

Journaling is often the pathway for spiritual experiences. 

 “ inspiration carefully recorded shows God that his communications are sacred to us. Recording will also enhance our ability to recall revelation.” R. G. Scott

Beseech the Lord in fervent prayer for your children to all have their own conversions. Then talk to each child about their conversion to the gospel, ... talk about your own conversion. 

In both the wise and the foolish parables, a house is built. We can have homes that are holy and sacred, that offer protection and safety from woes. 

The foolish man hears but does not do the work. 

Doing the work takes consistent action over time. 

We should pray not for lighter trials, but stronger backs.  

Doing the work for testimony. If we wanted to, we could have a spiritual experience every day. In fact, president Lee encouraged us to seek to have a spiritual experience every day. 

D&C 11:20 “this is your work, to keep my commandments, yea, with all your might, mind and strength.