Love and logic for early childhood

Make the home as similar as possible to the real world

To save or not to save? That is the question
No warnings
How many choices can I give them today?
Hitting, throwing, yelling, screaming, kicking, throwing tantrums equals automatic bedroom
Learning from the pain of poor choices must happen in a loving way
Hold of your tongue and refrain from sarcasm
Good thinking! you figured that out by yourself!
Go hard of hearing, but explain why become a broken record
Expected to solve own problems
Wise parents do whatever they can to meet their young children's needs. They set limits on wants.
There is 1 cardinal rule for the first few months of a child's life: do everything to meet your infant's basic needs! p123
Notice and value their interests
Keep it simple and have fun
Toy Bermuda triangle. Feel free to keep the toys you pick up
Key phrase: oh dear. That's too bad. Looks like a little bedroom time.  Gently lead or carry child to his room Keep them locked in the room until they have calmed down. May last longer than an hour. Act. Keep mouth shut.
Do not say a word. Let the actions speak for themselves.
Actions speak louder than words
Pour on the attention when sweet
Everything you say is gold.
Listen the first time
Control: the more we give, the more we get
What are you going to do to fix this?
Change  child's location and remove offending objects
Both the parents and the child feel good afterward
Energy drain: how are you going to recharge me?
The babysitter routine: how are you planning on paying for the babysitter?
I'm going to have to do something about this, but not now
Spanking: we used to do that but not anymore
Set up the limit once and follow through
Children learn to behave differently for different adults based on what is expected of them (nurser, primary, friends)
Started when the kids are young enough to carry, so can enjoy teen years with kids who are respectful, responsible, and fun to be around.
Power of roughhousing
Leaders: set limits and get people to fall in love with them.
Dictators bark orders, inhibit problem solving, and create teenagers that can't think for themselves
Helicopter/search and rescue: hover no accountability, hostile dependency, resentment
Simple actions taken early on avoid major, painful ones later in life
Anger and frustration feed Misbehavior
Set the limit once and follow through
Don't: use threats you can't back up, try to reason with a child when upset, get frustrated angry or give in to demands.
Do: go brain-dead, smile, pause and explain; choose an empathetic one liner and deliver with compassion.  Keep repeating the one-liner: "I love you too much to argue"
if the child continues, walk away
Give away healthy control within limits and take away unhealthy control that damages relationships. Sometimes we have to make our kids really mad so they can be happier and more responsible long-term
What are you feeding that kid? "Chores"
 Meaningful chores give children a sense of purpose and a sense of really being needed. They believe they can accomplish almost anything if they work hard enough. Let them work through challenging tasks and problems. Play together and work together at an early age
Do not pay for chores. They are a contribution to the family. Build positive feelings about helping out around the house. Do not nag, remind, hover, or warn.
Children make fewer mistakes when we know longer fear that they will
A cowboy that bonds with his colts can easily break them when grown.
What I liked most:Set the limit once. No reminders. Act
Physically remove child from situation.
Add latches outside of bedroom door
Key phrases: oh dear, I love you too much to...
Offer frequent and more choices