Saturday, January 5, 2019

The relationship cure


Gottman

Thus, the critical dimension in understanding whether a marriage will work or not, becomes the extent to which the male can accept the influence of the woman he loves and become socialized in emotional communication.

But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their positive ones. They have what I call an emotionally intelligent marriage.

They don’t object to their children’s displays of anger, sadness, or fear. Nor do they ignore them. Instead, they accept negative emotions as a fact of life and they use emotional moments as opportunities for teaching their kids important life lessons and building closer relationships with them.

Friendship fuels the flames of romance because it offers the best protection against feeling adversarial toward your spouse.

Collector of emotional moments. 
Each pearl is s moment if connecting on a deep and meaningful moments. 
What am I after in this moment? Celebrate connections. 
Consciously looking for opportunities to connect with others

7 command systems
Varies with each person
Regulating these keeps you in-sync
They can be both over activated and under activated
Emotions are designed to help a species survive
How do we reconcile our distinct differences?
Malleable and not completely hardwired. 
Be aware of the filters from which you view events. 
Every family has its own culture and philosophy of emotion.  

Coaching families... believe in the 
Value of all emotions. Even the negative ones. 
Anger, sadness, and fear are a part of life. 
They take advantage of the thousands of opportunities for guidance.

Childhood is a tremendous learning ground. But that learning doesn’t have to stop when we grow up. 

You’ll develop the skills to start new relationships on a stable course and you’ll learn how to repair problems in continual relationships and how to make them stronger.

Communicating with one another on a heart to heart level is not as mysterious as it may seem. Nor is it necessarily intuitive or automatic. 

The key is to become more observant within yourself and with others. 

33 muscles, unattached to bones, in the face for communication. 

Focus on emotions. Give them a name. Then talk about them.

Ability to recognize feelings and express them into words.

Short time out followed by a heart to heart talk in how to handle the situation differently next time. 

Continuing friendships: subtle negotiations; acknowledge emotional heritage; enrich capacity to read them; shared meaning, interests, values, aspirations, and dreams. 
Ex: exercise buddies, volunteer, support groups, book clubs, crafts, games, etc.
Show up/meet up with each other no matter what. Set up time for each other. Monthly, quarterly, etc. 6-12 people are optimal. Give each other 10 minutes of uninterrupted talking time. Take time to turn towards those with whom you can share the ride. 

Happily married couples behave like best friends. 
Conflict is handled in gentle and positive ways. 

Sex is like a work out. I don’t always want to but I’m always glad when I do. -Robin

Orphan Train girl


You can usually find smething good about wherever you are. 

And so it is that you learn how to pass, if you're lucky, to look like everyone else, even though you're broken inside.

Life throws us together with all sorts of people. And we don’t have much choice about most of them. Certainly not when we’re young. They don’t always give us what we need. Sometimes they just won’t but sometimes they just can’t. Vivian 

Sometimes you don’t look for perfect. Sometimes enough is all you need. 

Think and grow rich


Success conscious
I want it and I’ll have it. Ford
Desire: knowing what one wants. 
Masters of our fates, captains of our souls. 
Transmit thoughts into physical realities. 
Brains become magnetized to dominant thoughts. 

1.Desire
Dominating dream. Definite goal. ALL energy and effort back up goal. I will start anywhere, but before I’m through I will have attained dream. Win or perish. Cut all sources of retreat. Convince yourself you WILL have it. 
Definiteness of purpose. 
“Success requires no apologies. Failure permits no alibis.”
Every failure brings with it the seed of an equivalent success. 
The oak sleeps in the acorn. 
All who succeed get off to a bad start. Become acquainted with other self. 
Open minded. Ready to receive  
Whatever I would have asked for life, life would have willingly paid. 
Our only limitations are the ones we set up into our own minds. Seeds of equivalent advantage and useful purpose. Plant attitude of faith in self. 
Definiteness of purpose. 
Handicaps as obstacles or stepping stones
What I intend to give:

2.Faith








The secret (in my opinion, reading it the second time through): you have to own it. The desire has to belong to you. It has to line up with your values. If motherhood is my number one value, like, truly owning my calling as a mother, than I can’t be true to myself and own the following desires (at least not right now):
-Going back for Masters degree
-Being an art teacher
-writing a book
-running a marathon

These are desires I can own:
-truly loving, accepting, appreciating, and adoring the little presents of which HF has blessed us. 
-adoring, cherishing, respecting, and spoiling the son of God heavenly father gave me. 
-sharpening my saw by attending classes, exercising in moderation, spending time in nature, and doing a few things I love. 
-knowing, encouraging, owning, and loving my boys’ best friends
-magnifying my callings and cherishing my Moai. 

Value: I really don’t want to miss out. Not the FOMO missing out but the “real” missing out. I don’t want to miss out on the perfect little babies is my home. The sweet, gentle, tender, impressionable, perfect spirits that I rub shoulders with and the kiss faces of all day long. I suppose this time in my life might not appear “balanced.” But I guess many phases don’t because neither do time in college, on a mission, the first year of teaching, etc, etc. seem balanced. 
Of course I could pursue things on my bucket list. But at what cost? Achievement is not high on my value list. And therefore, I can’t own or truly desire an item that would tear me from what matters most. I ask: at what cost? And there are many, many things I am not willing to pay for. 

Christlike Parenting


Dr. Glenn I. Latham

Be of good cheer. Christ like countenance. 
Warm, human, parental attachment; approachable and non-judgmental; safe, pleasant; calm, instructive, empathy, understanding, really calm. Directness. 

More than anything else, always love your children. 

“Let him know you’re glad he’s home safe and sound, that you’ve been concerned about him.”
  • “See what wonderful things happen to you, [Robin], for behaving well.“
Carefully planned and conducted family activities help parents create Low-risk families Who really care for each other. 

It is so important that parents are pleasant to be around and that they create a pleasant, safe, Christlike environment at home so children will be gratified for being there- and will want to be there rather than somewhere else.

“Throughout adolescence, parents remain absolutely central in the lives of kids.” ...
“Arena of comfort“ a place where kids want to be and where there’s a sense of belonging, of “connectedness“

The fact is, it doesn’t take a whole village to affectively raise a child. It takes good parenting. A whole village can help raise a child. But that’s the best it can do and the most it should be expected to do.

A safe home, a place of belonging, a place free of coercers (criticism, sarcasm, despair, pleadings, anger, threats, judgments, logic, reason, force)... The village did not affect that change; Christlike parenting did.

“If God lived on earth, people would knock all his windows out.” An old Yiddish saying

Parental attention is the most powerful force or consequence in the shaping of children’s behavior.

“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances” Thomas Jefferson

*I looked deep into his eyes and said, “Son, I’m really sorry this has upset you so much.“

Just let it go. Respond as a highly civilized adult no matter how uncivilized the child behaves.

“A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards. Proverbs 29:11

The keys to preventing violence are “clear, reasonable, age-appropriate expectations... positive and consistent discipline techniques, and supervision of children including knowing their whereabouts.” Dr. John Reid

Instant compliance turns out to be a bad trade of short-term gains for long-term losses. *Where the emphasis is on punishment rather than teaching, expediency rather than growth. 

 “Television is a medium that encourages imitation.” Tartikoff CNN

“We have a passion to punish, and an aversion to teach.” 

“Children are like nails. When they are bent out of shape, a pat on the back will straighten them out better than a thump on the head.”

“If you can lead with love and compassion rather than retaliate with anger and revenge, I am sure you’ll win great victories in life.” Latham 

“Don’t I destroy my enemies when I make friends of them?” Lincoln

God is the friend of silence. Mother Teresa

“Oh, Lord, may my presence in this home bring faith and a cheerful good evening to those I love. Made my homecoming strengthen this home and bring us together, not tear us apart. Keep my voice even, that I may build confidence and respect in me as their father and their friend.” -Latham’s “pause that refreshes”

Christlike parenting is parenting that never gives up. Christ would never turn away, tune out, or turn his back on his children.

*Reject the common assumption that present problems will last forever. We must invest in the children and teach them the perspective of patience- a simple but powerful belief that things will get better. -Hollar

Today is not forever. Leave the door open for more talking.

Just be sure the child knows he is valued and is regarded as a valuable member of the family. And that he has your unconditional love. 

*Put the problem right back in his lap, while showing that you are concerned about his welfare. “I’m sorry that you feel that way.”

 Be emotionally upbeat. Let your countenance smile and shine upon him... be upbeat, happy, and hopeful.

Denying a child the opportunity to exercise his moral agency is every bit as bad as what the child might do when exercising his agency.

Did not throw your children away! Do not encourage them to leave. In the long run, everyone is much better off if you are willing to put up with some of the stress, strain, “noise”, and junk behavior that goes with growing up. 

There is a price to be paid in childrearing. We either pay it for a little while upfront or for a long while after adolescence.

All of us must be kind, say nice things, be complementary whenever we can, be playful and fun, and do nothing that would suggest we are angry or disappointed.

How well they are doing in life and how happy they are can be accounted for by their ability to delay immediate gratification in preference to those things that are in their best interest (schooling, saving money, marriage, healthy lifestyle).

***Children need to understand that behavior generates consequences.

***Parents literally rob their children by taking away from them something they have earned and that rightfully belongs to them: Consequences!

“ I can see that you are in desperate circumstances. My heart goes out to you.”
We have to be firm and empathetic. 

Striking back is potentially disastrous. 

There should be no delight in a child suffering because “he got what he was coming to him.”

Allow consequences to deliver the intended message. There are no lessons as exquisite as those taught by the consequences of our own behavior. 

Suffering has a value only to the degree to which leaves to improved behavior. Our prayers and hopes should be that suffering will be instructional. 

At least appear to be up and “with it.” “ if you want to be a leader, you can’t go about like a shrinking violet. You may have to put on a bit of an act. It must be sincere; it’s not good to have a bogus act. You’ve got to play up any qualities you have and blow them up larger than life.” -Lord Mountbatten

Be careful what your demeanor says. 

Never tell a child something he already knows. Rather, increase your positive acknowledgment of his appropriate behavior. Progress is two steps forward and one step back. Acknowledge the forward steps and ignore the backward ones.

We must resist the temptation to try to quickly effect gains that are too great. Patients, long-suffering, and small, incremental gains produce the most lasting results.

About 95% of such (wayward) children “come back” if the parents remain high on the scale of maturity, this providing the standard to which the children will ultimately gravitate.

“ my children are not all active in the church, but they are all good kids, and one day they will come back.”

The behavior of the parents is even more important than the behavior of the wayward child. 

I am certain that Christ expects more of parents than he does have children during times of recovery. Parents (need to) remain buoyant, optimistic, and Christlike-that they keep their countenance up!

Parents must be prepared to take sometimes uncomfortable steps. 

When people learn that reinforcement and behavior are not contingent on each other, they acquire learned helplessness. Seliman

Though there might be an initial sinking feeling, our children usually learn what they need to know and get the power they need to go aloft, to be on their way independently. These lessons can only be learned my personal experience. 

It is our responsibility to do all we can to preserve our children, then to keep our hand stretched out still. 

Today is not forever. We must patiently look beyond the moment and take the hand of God to lead us away from fear and despair unto good. 

To increase the probability of their children’s success, parents need to learn the value of building up, and building on, their children’s strengths. 

Discipline as teaching vs. punishment as simply administering pain, serving as retribution. Punishment focuses entirely on weaknesses. 

If you want your children to behave well, pay attention to them when they are behaving well.

Most parents ignore 95 to 97% of all the appropriate and good things their children do. 

What the kid needs is not a good lickin’ but a good lesson.

We must carefully measure our actions, our words, and even the town of our voice... speak softly into your children. 

Short-term compliance achieved through coercion leads only to worse behavior in the long run.

I have yet to be asked, “What should I do when my children behave well?” Yet that is the most important question of all.

Problem-oriented thinking as not an affective approach to child rearing. Solution-oriented thinking is. 

As a society, we are so problem oriented that we tend to gravitate in that direction. If we are not careful, we are goners. 

Building on strengths requires patience and time. It is a little-by-little process. 

The other boy had a lot going for him, all they could see where his so-called weaknesses. 

They found the time and the means to build their children up as Christ would do, rather than tear them down as Satan would do. 

And healthy families, parents gave their children affirmative feedback every other minute, more than 30 times an hour.

Parents must be positive and build on their children’s strengths. Let our mind dwell on the things that are honest, just, pure, lovely, or a good report, virtuous, and praiseworthy. 

Synonyms for praise are: approval, acceptance, acknowledgment, appreciation, blessing, complement, to his steam or on her, recognize, sanction, to give tribute, etc. 

The positive acknowledgment of appropriate, praiseworthy behavior remains among the most powerful means of shaping and maintaining healthy behavior in our children. It must be deserved, given sincerely, and should be given casually and briefly. It should be delivered randomly and should go beyond compliance to a level of values. 

When our children do things that refresh our spirits, “acknowledge ye them.”

God forbids, but permits... he does not punish people; people punish themselves by how they choose to behave. A self-imposed, natural consequence. 

Say only a few words and ask questions that put the child in the role of problem solver. 
Keep it non coercive, pleasant, and positive. 
Do not acknowledge distractors. 

Tell the child s/he is what you want him/her to be. 

Allow children to learn the sometimes hard lessons resulting from the choices they make. By artificially softening the consequences, we are doing them a terrible disservice. 

Many parents seem determined to try to sneak their children into heaven by depriving them of their right to choose for themselves. 

Our father in heaven‘s willingness to allow his children to choose for themselves should be our model for parenting, regardless of how tough it gets when children choose in ways that distress us. It is among the greatest blessings parents can give their children.

The worst disaster comes when children are alienated from their parents and family. 

Depriving children of the opportunity to make choices tends to render them “powerless.”

Consequences of unwise choices deliver messages & lessons that can be learned no other way. 

There is no such thing as risk-free parenting. 

Simple guiding principles, guiding visions, strong values and family beliefs can shape behavior. 

Children mirror their parents. 

“I guess I have been hearing only what I was listening for.” 

Solution-oriented approach: “How can we help you? How can you manage your anger better?”

Recognize efforts. 

“Their little fingers rapping on the door were like angels’ fingers strumming on the strings of a harp.” I knew I was safe for them. It felt so wonderful. 

Learn to be safe, as Jesus was safe. 

“He knew we never stopped praying for him.” Billy Graham

Praying for our children is as much a parental responsibility as is feeding them, clothing them, educating them... and nurturing them. 

Prayer is a source of comfort, direction, and wisdom that is available nowhere else. 

“Love prayer. Feel often the need to pray, and take the trouble to pray. It is by praying often that you will pray better. Prayer enlarges the heart until it is capable of containing the gift that God makes of himself. Ask and seek: your heart will grow capable of receiving him and holding onto him... We must bring the presence of God into our families. And how do we do that? By praying.” -Mother Teresa

“In prayer, we set time aside to allow God’s Spirit to join our spirit and to raise our hearts to God.” Richard J. Hauser

“Louise and I feast on the fruits of the harvest that has followed. When we visit the homes of our children, they are talking to God. Their children are talking to God. There is no thrill upon this earth so great as to kneel and pray with our children and grandchildren and to hear heartfelt appeals and tender appreciations ascending to God... They are drawn to their knees by desire to remain permanently attached to the security of their spiritual roots.”

“Lead them not down the easiest path, but rather down the most beautiful one.” -Korczak

Join your spirit with His, and be prepared for small, personal, every day miracles... God Tapping us on the shoulder, whispering, or at times shouting: “I’m here! I’m with you!” -Halbertstam

Measure the “climate” in your home. 95-97% of all the positive things your children do go unrecognized. There are typically many more good things happening than previously imagined. 

Keep data of interactions

Parental attention, positive or negative, is the most powerful consequence in shaping children’s behavior.

Learn that none of the negative, coercive things you are doing day in and day out to get children to behave better results and desired long-term benefits. 

“I thought my children were the problem, but it’s really me.”

“When our children were young, and noncompliance increased, I’d just take data for a few days. Sure enough I’d find that right there in the middle of it all where Mom and Dad, scolding, giving advice, trying to make the world fair, scowling, frowning, and asking dumb questions like, ‘Why did you do that?’ etc. Louise and I would look at the data, turn up our own behavior, and soon things were running smoothly again. 

If changes are in order and your family, they must begin with you, not your children.

Create a climate in your home in which positive interactions are the rule. 1:8 ratio

I suggest that parents rarely allow an hour to go by without having several positive interactions with their children and with each other. 

And low-risk families, parents gave their children affirmative feedback every other minute, more than 30 times per hour.

I was forever impressed at how sweet, gentle, kind, and unflustered they (2 teachers/moms) always were. They smiled and laughed. They encouraged and acknowledged appropriate behavior. They were everything I could ever hope parents and teachers would be.

Does Luis and I enter their home, we make it a point to have many positive interactions with those present within the first 15 minutes of being there: hugging, kissing, complementing, playing, encouraging, holding, and so on. Intermittently throughout the evening, we keep the momentum of positive interactions going, and it makes a wonderful contribution to the family into the sweet spirit of the evening. It helps make the environment safe and comfortable, motivating people to return week after week. When we have lots and lots of positive interactions we are safe, and our children and grandchildren want to be with us.

The key is for parents to establish the quality of environment and refused to allow the annoying, just wrapped up behavior of unhappy children to dictate the mood or course of their behavior. Their countenance must not fall. 

Many have said, ‘My parents always worried. They never smiled.’ For parenting to be joyless is tragic. My simple wish is that parents have fun with their children. -Brazelton (America’s pediatrician)

When parents leave my office, they are usually smiling, laughing, and walking tall with hope for a better tomorrow. They learn to enjoy their children; they learn to have fun with them; they learn a better way. Despite how our children look , smell, or act, we must let them know we love them and are glad to be their parents. 

My advice to parents is to relax, to ease up, to come up for air once in a while, then work as hard at enjoying your children as you do at worrying about them!

“There are better things than curfews to bring kids home and off the streets at night: A mother singing in the kitchen and a dad it was laying around the house.” -Braude

Quality parent – child interactions were characterized by the following: they listened, they tried to be nice, they gave children choices, and they told children about things.

“I’m glad you’re my child. I’m glad I’m your parent.”

Will power is good, but do-power is better. 

We learn to want to do better by first doing better, then enjoying the success of doing better. 

Media:
“A society to squeamish to call evil by it’s right name has destroyed it’s first, best defense.” -Gelernter

Make your home safe from the slings and arrows of the world. Only you can do that. It’s your home. 

Children need to see that we are wide-awake and alert. They need to see our unyielding commitment to our values.

Work less and parent more. 
Play less and parent more. 
Consume less and parent more. 
Social climb less and parent more. 
Spend less time chasing fame and parent more. 
Spend less time in the pursuit of money and parent more. 

Christ like parenting is a matter of setting our priorities in order. If we seek first to be a Christ-like parent, all else will fall into place. 

When parents persist in doing things other than they should be doing, it’s because doing those other things is more personally and immediately reinforcing then doing what they should be doing. -Cheney

Parents must create their own environment. With effective tools and skills, parenting can become the most enjoyable and reinforcing of all enterprises. 

“I am a happy parent because I have learned to create in my home an environment that brings my family and me more happiness and joy than can be found anywhere else.”
  1. Earnestly strive to teach your children with love and patience. 
  2. Be a living lesson to your children of what you teach. 
  3. Create in your home a positive, happy, noncoercive, not abusive environment that is under paternal control and where the consequences for appropriate and inappropriate behavior are well understood by all and are consistently and lovingly applied. 
  4. Allow your children to exercise moral agency; then let consequences deliver the message. 
  5. Keep your hands stretched out continually to your children. 
  6. Pray for your children continually, morning, midday, and evening. 
  7. Be continually learning and applying better, more effective parenting skills. 
  8. Remain above the misbehavior of your children. Be certain your Christlike countenance smiles upon them. 
  9. Keep Christlike parenting at the top of your list of priorities. 
  10. Smile & enjoy your children. 

Friday, January 4, 2019

Where the Red Fern Grows


My persistence had no limits. 
Never again so if I doubt them (pups/kids’ abilities)

Morning miracle


Hal Enron
5 minute rule to be angry, then: "okay, can't change it." And then don't allow yourself to feel negative emotion towards that thing again. 
Car= The gratitude mobile

💃Seven principles of a happy marriage


John Gottman
Emotional intelligence and keeping negative thoughts at the bay
The ability to respect, honor and understand your spouse
Resolving resolutions on the royal road i've happy marriages
I did listening, I statements, repeating what you "hear"
"We all have our crazy buttons"
Learn to handle each other's strange side with patience and kindness. 
No tracking or tallying points. We just serve each other because we love each other. 
Emotionally and content marriages. 

She comes first, mom, now get used to it. 

Acknowledging and advocating your dreams is not easy. 

The gifts of imperfection


When we look at the people around us and say "I'm All in."
There is a crack in everything. That's what lets in the light. 
Anxiety is a reality, not a lifestyle. 

Care more about how you feel then how people think. 

I’m dying to freak out right now... do I have enough information? Will it help? 

Sunday, March 25, 2018

Man’s Search for Meaning - Frankyl


A man can get used to anything, but do not ask us how.

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.

Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.

Don't aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see that in the long-run—in the long-run, I say!—success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think about it. 

Those who have a 'why' to live, can bear with almost any 'how'.

But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer.

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. No one can become fully aware of the very essence of another human being unless he loves him. By his love he is enabled to see the essential traits and features in the beloved person; and even more, he sees that which is potential in him, which is not yet actualized but yet ought to be actualized. Furthermore, by his love, the loving person enables the beloved person to actualize these potentialities. By making him aware of what he can be and of what he should become, he makes these potentialities come true.

An abnormal reaction to an abnormal situation is normal behavior.

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible.

What is to give light must endure burning.

In some ways suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.

The salvation of man is through love and in love.

Learning humor while learning and mastering the art of living. 

It did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.

No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.

Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose.

Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue.

Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.

If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering.

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way.

The pessimist resembles a man who observes with fear and sadness that his wall calendar, from which he daily tears a sheet, grows thinner with each passing day. On the other hand, the person who attacks the problems of life actively is like a man who removes each successive leaf from his calendar and files it neatly and carefully away with its predecessors, after first having jotted down a few diary notes on the back. He can reflect with pride and joy on all the richness set down in these notes, on all the life he has already lived to the fullest. What will it matter to him if he notices that he is growing old? Has he any reason to envy the young people whom he sees, or wax nostalgic over his own lost youth? What reasons has he to envy a young person? For the possibilities that a young person has, the future which is in store for him?

No, thank you,' he will think. 'Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, although these are things which cannot inspire envy.

I do not forget any good deed done to me & I do not carry a grudge for a bad one.

A man who becomes conscious of the responsibility he bears toward a human being who affectionately waits for him, or to an unfinished work, will never be able to throw away his life. He knows the "why" for his existence, and will be able to bear almost any "how".

Our greatest freedom is the freedom to choose our attitude.

By declaring that man is responsible and must actualize the potential meaning of his life, I wish to stress that the true meaning of life is to be discovered in the world rather than within man or his own psyche, as though it were a closed system. I have termed this constitutive characteristic "the self-transcendence of human existence." It denotes the fact that being human always points, and is directed, to something or someone, other than oneself--be it a meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself--by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love--the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.

To draw an analogy: a man's suffering is similar to the behavior of a gas. If a certain quantity of gas is pumped into an empty chamber, it will fill the chamber completely and evenly, no matter how big the chamber. Thus suffering completely fills the human soul and conscious mind, no matter whether the suffering is great or little. Therefore the "size" of human suffering is absolutely relative.

Love goes very far beyond the physical person of the beloved. It finds its deepest meaning in his spiritual being, his inner self. Whether or not he is actually present, whether or not he is still alive at all, ceases somehow to be of importance.

Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become the next moment. By the same token, every human being has the freedom to change at any instant.

But today’s society is characterized by achievement orientation, and consequently it adores people who are successful and happy and, in particular, it adores the young. It virtually ignores the value of all those who are otherwise, and in so doing blurs the decisive difference between being valuable in the sense of dignity and being valuable in the sense of usefulness. If one is not cognizant of this difference and holds that an individual’s value stems only from his present usefulness, then, believe me, one owes it only to personal inconsistency not to plead for euthanasia along the lines of Hitler’s program, that is to say, ‘mercy’ killing of all those who have lost their social usefulness, be it because of old age, incurable illness, mental deterioration, or whatever handicap they may suffer. Confounding the dignity of man with mere usefulness arises from conceptual confusion that in turn may be traced back to the contemporary nihilism transmitted on many an academic campus and many an analytical couch.

It is not freedom from conditions, but it is freedom to take a stand toward the conditions.

A human being is not one thing among others; things determine each other, but man is ultimately self-determining. What he becomes - within the limits of endowment and environment- he has made out of himself. In the concentration camps, for example, in this living laboratory and on this testing ground, we watched and witnessed some of our comrades behave like swine while others behaved like saints. Man has both potentialities within himself; which one is actualized depends on decisions but not on conditions.

I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsiblity on the West Coast.

The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick learned while mastering the art of living.

What is demanded of man is not, as some existential philosophers teach, to endure the meaninglessness of life, but rather to bear his incapacity to grasp its unconditional meaningfulness in rational terms.


For the world is in a bad state, but everything will become still worse unless each of us does his best.

Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life; everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. Therein he cannot be replaced, nor can his life be repeated. Thus, everyone's task is unique as is his specific opportunity to implement it.

We cannot, after all, judge a biography by its length, by the number of pages in it; we must judge by the richness of the contents...Sometimes the 'unfinisheds' are among the most beautiful symphonies.

A man's concern, even his despair, over the worthwhileness of life is an existential distress but by no means a mental disease.

Man is originally characterized by his "search for meaning" rather than his "search for himself." The more he forgets himself—giving himself to a cause or another person—the more human he is. And the more he is immersed and absorbed in something or someone other than himself the more he really becomes himself.

What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for some goal worthy of him. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost, but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him. (see Bender’s talk on the “load”)

Ironically enough, in the same way that fear brings to pass what one is afraid of, likewise a forced intention makes impossible what one forcibly wishes... Pleasure is, and must remain, a side-effect or by-product, and is destroyed and spoiled to the degree to which it is made a goal in itself.

Even though conditions such as lack of sleep, insufficient food and various mental stresses may suggest that the inmates were bound to react in certain ways, in the final analysis it becomes clear that the sort of person the prisoner became was the result of an inner decision, and not the result of camp influences alone.

Dostoevski said once, "There is only one thing I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings." These words frequently came to my mind after I became acquainted with those martyrs whose behavior in camp, whose suffering and death, bore witness to the fact that the last inner freedom cannot be lost. It can be said that they were worthy of the their sufferings; the way they bore their suffering was a genuine inner achievement. It is this spiritual freedom—which cannot be taken away—that makes life meaningful and purposeful.

It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to rise above any situation, even if only for a few seconds.

To suffer unecessarily is masochistic rather than heroic.

Our generation is realistic, for we have come to know man as he really is. After all, man is that being who invented the gas chambers of Auschwitz; however, he is also that being who entered those gas chambers upright, with the Lord's Prayer or the Shema Yisrael on his lips.

To be sure, man's search for meaning may arouse inner tension rather than inner equilibrium. However, precisely such tension is an indispensable prerequisite of mental health. There is nothing in the world, I venture to say, that would so effectively help one to survive even the worst conditions as the knowledge that there is a meaning in one's life. There is much wisdom in the words of Nietzsche: "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for a brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved.

At the beginning of human history, man lost some of the basic animal instincts in which an animal's behavior is embedded and by which it is secured. Such security, like paradise, is closed to man forever; man has to make choices. In addition to this, however, man has suffered another loss in his more recent development inasmuch as the traditions which buttressed his behavior are now rapidly diminishing. No instinct tells him what he has to do, and no tradition tells him what he ought to do; sometimes he does not even know what he wishes to do. Instead, he either wishes to do what other people do (conformism) or he does what other people tell him to do (totalitarianism).

As a professor in two fields, neurology and psychiatry, I am fully aware of the extent to which man is subject to biological, psychological and sociological conditions. But in addition to being a professor in two fields I am a survivor of four camps - concentration camps, that is - and as such I also bear witness to the unexpected extent to which man is capable of defying and braving even the worst conditions conceivable.

Human kindness can be found in all groups, even those which as a whole it would be easy to condemn.

The crowning experience of all, for the homecoming man, is the wonderful feeling that, after all he has suffered, there is nothing he need fear anymore—except his God.

Fear makes come true that which one is afraid of.

Sunday neurosis, that kind of depression which afflicts people who become aware of the lack of content in their lives when the rush of the busy week is over and the void within themselves becomes manifest.

To the European, it is a characteristic of the American culture that, again and again, one is commanded and ordered to 'be happy.' But happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. One must have a reason to 'be happy.' Once the reason is found, however, one becomes happy automatically. As we see, a human being is not one in pursuit of happiness but rather in search of a reason to become happy, last but not least, through actualizing the potential meaning inherent and dormant in a given situation.

If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete.

There are things which must cause you to lose your reason or you have none to lose

For what then matters is to bear witness to the uniquely human potential at its best, which is to transform a personal tragedy into a triumph, to turn one’s predicament into a human achievement.

Freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.

A life of short duration...could be so rich in joy and love that it could contain more meaning than a life lasting eighty years. 

Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality

The point is not what we expect from life, but rather what life expects from us.

What was really needed was a fundamental change in our attitude toward life. We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We needed to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life--daily and hourly. Our answer must consist, not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answer to its problems and to fulfill the tasks which it constantly sets for each individual.
These tasks, and therefore the meaning of life, differ from man to man, and from moment to moment. Thus it is impossible to define the meaning of life in a general way. Questions about the meaning of life can never be answered by sweeping statements. “Life” does not mean something vague, but something very real and concrete, just as life’s tasks are also very real and concrete. They form man’s destiny, which is different and unique for each individual. No man and no destiny can be compared with any other man or any other destiny. No situation repeats itself, and each situation calls for a different response. Sometimes the situation in which a man finds himself may require him to shape his own fate by action. At other times it is more advantageous for him to make use of an opportunity for contemplation and to realize assets in this way. Sometimes man may be required simple to accept fate, to bear his cross. Every situation is distinguished by its uniqueness, and there is always only one right answer to the problem posed by the situation at hand.
When a man finds that it is his destiny to suffer, he will have to accept his suffering as his task; his single and unique task. He will have to acknowledge the fact that even in suffering he is unique and alone in the universe. No one can relieve him of his suffering or suffer in his place. His unique opportunity lies in the way in which he bears his burden.

A thought transfixed me: for the first time in my life I saw the truth as it is set into song by so many poets, proclaimed as the final wisdom by so many thinkers. The truth-that love is the ultimate and the highest goal to which a man can aspire. 

Then I grasped the meaning of the greatest secret that human poetry and human thought and belief have to impart: The salvation of human is through love and in love. 

I understood how a man who has nothing left in this world still may know bliss, be it only for the brief moment, in the contemplation of his beloved. In a position of utter desolation, when a man cannot express himself in positive action, when his only achievement may consist in enduring his sufferings in the right way-an honorable way-in such a position man can, through loving contemplation of the image he carries of his beloved, achieve fulfillment. 

For the first time in my life I was able to understand the meaning of the words,"The angels are lost in perpetual contemplation of an infinite glory.

The truth-that love is the highest goal to which man can aspire.

Being human always points, and is directed, to something, or someone, other than oneself—be it meaning to fulfill or another human being to encounter. The more one forgets himself—by giving himself to a cause to serve or another person to love—the more human he is and the more he actualizes himself. ... What is called self-actualization is not an attainable aim at all, for the simple reason that the more one would strive for it, the more he would miss it. In other words, self-actualization is possible only as a side-effect of self-transcendence.

As each situation in life represents a challenge to man and presents a problem for him to solve, the question of the meaning of life may actually be reversed. Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. In a word, each man is questioned by life; and he can only answer to life by answering for his own life; to life he can only respond by being responsible. Thus, logotherapy sees in responsibleness the very essence of human existence.

Thus it can be seen that mental health is based on a certain degree of tension, the tension between what one has already achieved and what one still ought to accomplish, or the gap between what one is and what one should become. Such a tension is inherent in the human being and therefore is indispensable to mental well-being. We should not, then, be hesitant about challenging man with a potential meaning for him to fulfill. It is only thus that we evoke his will to meaning from its state of latency. I consider it a dangerous misconception of mental hygiene to assume that what man needs in the first place is equilibrium or, as it is called in biology "homeostasis", i.e., a tensionless state. What man actually needs is not a tensionless state but rather the striving and struggling for a worthwhile goal, a freely chosen task. What he needs is not the discharge of tension at any cost but the call of a potential meaning waiting to be fulfilled by him.

Since Auschwitz we know what man is capable of. And since Hiroshima we know what is at stake.

Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them.

Instead of possibilities, I have realities in my past, not only the reality of work done and of love loved, but of sufferings bravely suffered. These sufferings are even the things of which I am most proud, though these are things which cannot inspire envy.

Man is capable of changing the world for the better if possible, and of changing himself for the better if necessary.

I shall never forget how I was roused one night by the groans of a fellow prisoner, who threw himself about in his sleep, obviously having a horrible nightmare. Since I had always been especially sorry for people who suffered from fearful dreams or deliria, I wanted to wake the poor man. Suddenly I drew back the hand which was ready to shake him, frightened at the thing I was about to do. At that moment I became intensely conscious of the fact that no dream, no matter how horrible, could be as bad as the reality of the camp which surrounded us, and to which I was about to recall him.

The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity — even under the most difficult circumstances — to add a deeper meaning to his life. It may remain brave, dignified and unselfish. Or in the bitter fight for self preservation he may forget his human dignity and become no more than an animal.

It is a peculiarity of man that he can only live by looking to the future.

The meaning of life is to give life meaning.

Freedom, however, is not the last word. Freedom is only part of the story and half of the truth. Freedom is but the negative aspect of the whole phenomenon whose positive aspect is responsibleness. In fact, freedom is in danger of degenerating into mere arbitrariness unless it is lived in terms of responsibleness. That is why I recommend that the Statue of Liberty on the East Coast be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the West Coast.

Ultimate meaning necessarily exceeds and surpasses the finite intellectual capacities of man... What is demanded of man is not, as some existential philosophers teach, to endure the meaninglessness of life, but rather to bear his incapacity to grasp its unconditional meaningfulness in rational terms. Logos is deeper than logic.

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

We had to learn ourselves and, furthermore, we had to teach the despairing men, that it did not really matter what we expected from life, but rather what life expected from us. We need to stop asking about the meaning of life, and instead to think of ourselves as those who were being questioned by life—hourly and daily. Our answer must consist not in talk and meditation, but in right action and in right conduct. Life ultimately means taking the responsibility to find the right answers to its problems and to fulfill the task which it constantly sets for each individual.

Man is not fully conditioned and determined but rather determines himself whether he gives in to conditions or stands up to them. In other words, man is ultimately self-determining. Man does not simply exist but always decides what his existence will be, what he will become in the next moment.

The salvation of man is through love and in love

Human potential at its best is to transform a tragedy into a personal triumph, to turn one's predicament into a human achievement.

There are some authors who contend that meanings and values are "nothing but defense mechanisms, reaction formations and sublimations." But as for myself, I would not be willing to live merely for the sake of my "defense mechanisms," nor would I be ready to die merely for the sake of my "reaction formations.

One evening, when we were already resting on the floor of our hut, dead tired, soup bowls in hand, a fellow prisoner rushed in and asked us to run out to the assembly grounds and see the wonderful sunset. Standing outside we saw sinister clouds glowing in the west and the whole sky alive with clouds of ever-changing shapes and colors, from steel blue to blood red. The desolate grey mud huts provided a sharp contrast, while the puddles on the muddy ground reflected the glowing sky. Then, after minutes of moving silence, one prisoner said to another, "How beautiful the world could be...

As for the concept of collective guilt, I personally think that it is totally unjustified to hold one person responsible for the behavior of another person or a collective of persons.

Camp: test of inner self; chance to achieve human greatness. Let the past go, acknowledge the present reality, look to purpose and goals in the future. 

Life is like the dentist. We think the worst is yet to come and yet it is over already. Bismarck

Opportunity and challenge. One could make a victory of these challenges. Triumph. 

Inner strength in pointing out a future goal. 

Force thoughts of trivial worries. Observe suffering as already the past. Is ceases to be suffering as soon as we have a clear picture of it. 

We need a Why to bear the “how.”

What does life expect of us? 

Accept suffering as task on hand. With hidden opportunities for achievement. Courage to suffer. 

Life still expects something from you. Work that can not be done by anyone else. 

Human life under any circumstances never loses meaning. 

Suffering proudly not miserably. 

The decent man. 

Lost ability to feel pleased
Finally, tongue and something inside broke through. Step by step I progressed until I again became a human being. 

Psychological hygiene. 

Logotherapy: breaks up self-centeredness, purpose and future focused. The will to meaning and purpose. Ideals & values. 
Homeostasis vs. tension and increased load

Those who hold her head high in a hard lot. 

We are human beings, not machines that need repair. 

Functioning for the benefit of society. 

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

Believing Christ -Robinson


We believe in him, but we don't trust him. We get so frightened and intimidated, so horrified, by our own imperfections that we don't see how he could possibly save us from them, and we lose faith. 

"I have always had a testimony of and believed in my Savior... But now I know that he can save me that he can save me from myself, from my sins, from my weaknesses, from my lack of talent."

The only way… Is to admit our own imperfections, admit we can't be perfect on our own, and have faith in Christ our Savior. 

There is no heavier yolk then the demand for perfection vs. rest, peace, easy, light in Christ. 

In the gospel covenant, we exchange the burden of sin for the obligation to love him and others & to do the very best we can. 

He never requires more than I can give. He does not compare me, and neither should I. Neither in being hard on myself nor in lifting myself up. We are all beggars. 

BYU Honors Great Works: LITERATURE


LITERATURE
I. Narrative
  • Genesis; Exodus; I & II Samuel; I Kings; Job; Psalms; Ecclesiastes; the Four Gospels (King James Version)
  • Bhagavad-Gita
  • Metamorphoses — Ovid (tr. Horace Gregory)
  • Iliad; Odyssey — Homer (tr. Lattimore and Rieu, resp.)
  • Aeneid — Virgil (tr. Lind)
  • The Song of Roland
  • Tristan and Iseult
  • The Romance of the Rose — deLorris and deMeung
  • Canterbury Tales — Chaucer (tr. Coghill)
  • Gargantua and Pantagruel — Rabelais
  • Don Quixote — Cervantes (tr. William Starkie)
  • Rasselas — Johnson
  • Paradise Lost — Milton
  • Pilgrim’s Progress — Bunyan
  • Robinson Crusoe — Defoe
  • Gulliver’s Travels — Swift
  • Pamela (Part I) — Richardson
  • Tristam Shandy — Sterne
  • Tom Jones — Fielding
  • Émile — Rousseau
  • Candide — Voltaire
  • The Sorrows of Young Werther — Goethe
  • Michale Kholhaas — Kleist
  • Pride and Prejudice; Emma — Austin
  • Ivanhoe — Scott
  • Wuthering Heights — Brontë, E.
  • Jane Eyre — Brontë, C.
  • David Copperfield; Oliver Twist; Great Expectations; The Pickwick Papers; Hard Times — DIckens
  • Vanity Fair — Thackery
  • Adam Bede; The Mill on the Floss; Middlemarch; Silas Marner — Eliot
  • Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland — Carrol
  • The Egoist — Meredith
  • Jude the Obscure; The Mayor of Casterbridge; Return of the Native; Tess of the d’Ubervilles — Hardy
  • “The Apple Tree” — Galsworthy
  • “Fall of the House of Usher”; “The Cask of Amontillado” — Poe
  • The Scarlet Letter — Hawthorne
  • Moby Dick; Billy Budd — Melville
  • Huckleberry Finn — Twain
  • The Red Badge of Courage, “The Open Boat” — Crane
  • The Red and the Black — Stendhal
  • Old Goriot; Eugéne Grandet; Gobseck — Balzac
  • Madame Bovary; A Sentimental Education; The Three Tales — Flaubert
  • René — Chateaubriand
  • Les Miserables — Hugo
  • Nana; L’Assomoir; Germinal; The Masterpiece — Zola
  • Remembrance of Things Past (particularly “Swann’s Way) — Proust (tr. C. Scott Moncrieff)
  • The Betrothed — Manzoni
  • Eugene Onegin — Pushkin (tr. Walter Arendt, Vladimir Nabokov)
  • Dead Souls — Gogol
  • The Brothers Karamazov; The Idiot; Crime and Punishment — Dostoevsky
  • War and Peace; Anna Karenina; “The Death of Ivan Ilych” — Tolstoy
  • Short Stories — Chekhov
  • Heart of Darkness; Lord Jim; Nostromo — Conrad
  • Women in Love; Sons and Lovers — Lawrence
  • Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man; Ulysses — Joyce
  • A Passage to India — Forster
  • “The Lotus Eater”; “The Verger”; “Mr. Know-It-All”; “The Colonel’s Lady” — Maugham
  • The Power and the Glory; The Heart of the Matter; The Quiet American; A Burnt-Out Case — Greene
  • The Ambassadors; Portrait of a Lady; The Wings of the Dove; The Golden Bowl; Daisy Miller — James, H.
  • My Antonia — Cather
  • The Trial; The Castle; “The Judgment”; “Metamorphosis”; “In the Penal Colony”; “The Hunger Artist” — Kafka
  • Steppenwolf — Hesse
  • The Magic Mountain; Joseph and His Brothers — Mann
  • “The Necklace” — Maupassant
  • The Immoralist; The Counterfeiters — Gide
  • Man’s Fate — Malraux
  • The Stranger — Camus
  • Claudine’s House — Colette
  • Nausea — Sartre
  • The Erasers — Robbe-Grillet
  • Bread and Wine — Silone
  • The Tin Drum; Local Anesthetic — Grass
  • Mist — Unamuno
  • The Greek Passion — Kazantzakis
  • Doctor Zhivago — Pasternak
  • Pale Fire — Nobokov
  • “Materna’s Home”; One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich; The First Circle; Cancer Ward — Solzhenitsyn
  • The Great Gatsby — Fitzgerald
  • An American Tragedy; Sister Carrie — Dreiser
  • Main Street; Babbit — Lewis
  • Absalom, Absalom!; The Sound and the Fury; “The Bear” — Faulkner
  • A Farewell to Arms; Short Stories — Hemingway
  • The Grapes of Wrath; Short Stories — Steinbeck
  • The Ox-Bow Incident; “The Portable Phonograph” — Clark
  • “Flowering Judas”; “He”; Other Short Stories — Porter
  • The Good Earth — Buck
  • The Naked and the Dead — Mailer
  • Native Son — Wright
  • A Death in the Family — Agee
  • The Catcher in the Rye — Salinger
  • Short Stories; Rabbit Run — Updike
  • “Gimple the Fool” — Singer
  • “The Assistant”; “The Magic Barrel” — Malamud
  • Short Stories — O’Connor
  • Herzog — Bellow
  • The Chosen — Potok
  • Catch 22 — Heller
[Editorial note: we’re just getting started here. We’re only about 20% of the way through the list]
Oriental
  • The Floating World of Japanese Fiction (ed. Hibbett)
  • Kojiki (tr. Donald Phillip)
  • Tales of Ise (tr. McCollough)
  • The Pillow Book — Sei Shonogon
  • The Tale of the Genji — Murasaki
  • The Love Suicide at Amijima — Chikamatsu
  • Kokoro — Soseki (tr. Ediwn McClellan)
  • Snow Country — Kawabata
  • The Makioka Sisters — Tanizaki
  • An Anthology of Chinese Literature (tr. Cyril Birch)
  • All Men Are Brothers — Lo Kuan-Chung
  • Monkey — Wu Ch’eng-en
  • The Dream of the Red Chamber — Ts’ao Hsueh-ch’in
  • Six Yuan Plays
  • The Jade Mountain (tr. Witter Bynner)
Latin America
  • The Modern Trend in Spanish American Poetry (ed. Craig)
  • Dom Casmurro — Assis
  • One Hundred Years of Solitude — Garcia, M.
  • Don Segundo Sombra — Guiraldes
  • The Underdogs — Azuela
  • Rebellion in the Backlands — Cunha
  • The Lusiades — De Camoes
II. Drama
  • The Oresteia — Aeschyulus (tr. Lattimore)
  • Oedipus Rex; Oedipus at Colonus; Antigone — Sophocles
  • Media; The Trojan Women; The Bacchae (tr. Grene and Lattimore) — Euripedes
  • The Frogs — Aristphonanes
  • Abraham and Isaac; The Second Shepherd’s Play; Everyman — Anonymous
  • Life Is A Dream — Calderon
  • The Tragic History of Doctor Faustus; Tamburlaine the Great— Marlowe
  • Hamlet; Macbeth; Othello; King Lear; Julius Caesar; Romeo and Juliet; The Tempest; Richard III; Henry V — Shakespeare
  • Volpone — Jonson
  • The Way of the World — Congreve
  • School for Scandal — Sheridan
  • The Cid — Corneille
  • Athalie; Phedre — Racine
  • Tartuffe; The Misanthrope; The Would-Be Gentleman; The Imaginary Invalid; The Miser — Moliere
  • Hernani — Hugo
  • Faust I, II — Goethe (tr. W. Kaufman)
  • Wallenstein; Maria Stuart — Schiller
  • Uncle Vanya; The Seagull; The Three Sisters; The Cherry Orchard — Chekhov
  • Miss Julie — Strindberg
  • Peer Gynt; Ghosts; A Doll’s House; Hedda Gabler; The Wild Duck — Ibsen
  • The Importance of Being Ernest — Wilde
  • Man and Superman; Candida; St. Joan — Shaw
  • The Playboy of the Western World — Synge
  • Gas; The Citizens of Calais — Kaiser
  • Mother Courage; The Caucasian Chalk Circle — Brecht
  • The Flies; No Exit — Sartre
  • The Bald Soprano; Rhinocerous — Ionesco
  • The Balcony; The Maids — Genet
  • Antigone; Beckett — Anouilh
  • The Visits; The Physicists — Duerenmatt
  • Waiting for Godot — Beckett
  • Right You Are If You Think You Are; Six Characters in Search of An Author — Pirandello
  • Yerma; Blood Wedding; The House of Bernarda Alba — Lorca
  • Long Day’s Journey Into Night — O’Neill
  • Our Town — Wilder
  • The Glass Menagerie; A Streetcar Named Desire — Williams
  • Death of a Salesman — Miller
  • Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? — Albee
  • The Room; The Homecoming — Pinter
III. Poetry
  • Psalms
  • Pindar
  • Sappho
  • Homer (tr. Lattimore)
  • Virgil
  • Geoffrey Chaucer
  • Edmun Spenser
  • William Shakespeare
  • John Donne
  • John Milton
  • John Dryden
  • Alexander Pope
  • Thomas Gray
  • William Blake
  • Robert Burns
  • William Wordsworth
  • Samuel Taylor Coleridge
  • Lord George Byron
  • Percy Bysshe Shelley
  • John Keates
  • Alfred Lord Tennison
  • Robert Browning
  • Rudyard Kipling
  • William Bulter Yeats
  • T. S. Eliot
  • W. H. Auden
  • A. E. Houseman
  • Gerard Manley Hopkins
  • Dylan Thomas
  • Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
  • John Greenleaf Whittier
  • Sidney Lanier
  • Edgar Allen Poe
  • Walt Whitman
  • Emily Dickenson
  • Robert Frost
  • Carl Sandburg
  • Ezra Pound
  • Wallace Stevens
  • Wolfgang Goethe
  • Frederick Schiller
  • Heinrich Heine
  • Ranier Maria Rilke
  • Françios Villon
  • Charles Baudelaire
  • Ral Verlaine
  • Stephane Malarmé
  • Arthur Rimbaud
  • Paul Valery
  • Guillaume Appollinaire
  • Francesco Petrarch
  • Dante Alighieri
  • Lodovico Ariosto
  • Pablo Neruda
  • Aleksandr Pushkin
  • Mikhail Lermontov
  • Aleksandr Blok
  • Vladimir Majakovsky
  • Boris Pasternak
  • Anna Akhamatova
  • Andrej Voznesensky
Non-Fiction
Classical History
  • Persian Wars — Herodotus (Tr. Rawlinson)
  • History of the Peloponnesian Wars — Thucydides
  • The Early History of Rome — Livy
  • Annales; Germania — Tacitus
  • Jewish Wars — Josephus
  • Ecclesiastical History — Eusebius
Biography
  • Lives of Noble Greeks; Lives of Noble Romans (tr. Edmund Fuller) — Plutarch
  • The Life of Thomas More — Chambers, R. W.
  • Diary of Samuel Pepys — Pepys, S.
  • Admiral of the Ocean Sea — Morrison, E.
  • Young Man Luther — Erikson, E.
  • Life of Samuel Johnson — Boswell, S.
  • Napoleon — Ludwig, E.
  • Joseph Smith, An American  Prophet — Evans, J. H.
  • Autobiography — Pratt, P. P.
  • Frederick Jackson Turner — Billington, R.
  • Lincoln — Sandburg, C.
  • Karl Marx — Berlin, I.
  • My Life — Trotsky, L.
  • Hitler, A Study in Tyranny — Bulloch, A.
  • George C. Marshall: Organizer of Victory, 1943-1945 — Pogue, F. C.
New Views on the Human Legacy
  • The Chrysanthemum and the Sword — Benedict, R.
  • The Russian Idea — Berdyaev, N.
  • New Testament History — Bruce, F. F.
  • The Masks of God — Campbell, J.
  • Gods, Graves and Scholars — Ceram, C. W.
  • Civilization — Clark, K.
  • The Lessons of History — Durant, W. & A.
  • The Sacred and Profane: The Nature of Religion, Cosmos and History — Eliade, M.
  • The U.S. and China — Fairbank, J. K.
  • The Road to Pearl Harbor — Fies, H.
  • Madness and Civilization — Foucoult, M.
  • The Golden Bough — Frazer, J. G.
  • The New Industrial State — Gailbraith, J. K.
  • The Dead Sea Scrolls and the New Testament — LaSor, W.
  • Structural Anthropology — Levi-Strauss, C.
  • Capital — Marx, K.
  • Japanese Society — Nakane, C.
  • The World and the Prophets — Nibley, H.
  • Anthropology and Art — Otten, C.
  • Japan: Story of a Nation — Reischauer, E.
  • Language: An Introduction to the Study of Speech — Sapir, E.
  • The Decline of the West — Spengler, O.
Interpretations of American and Mormon Culture
  • Mormonism and American Culture — Allen, J. B. and Cowan, R. O.
  • “Circumstantial Confirmation of the First Vision through Reminiscences”, BYU Studies (Spring 1969) — Anderson, R. L.
  • Great Basin Kingdom — Arrington, L.
  • Go Tell It on the Mountain — Baldwin, J.
  • Constitution of the United States — Barnes, W. R.
  • The Declaration of Independence — Becker, C.
  • The End of Ideology — Bell, D.
  • The Americans: The National Experience; The Image: A Guide to Pseudo-Events in America — Boorstin, D.
  • Soul on Ice — Cleaver, E.
  • The God That Failed — Crossman, R.
  • Custer Died for Your Sins — DeLoria, V.
  • Time on the Cross: The Economics of American Negro Slavery — Fogel, R. and Engerman, S.
  • The Affluent Society — Gailbraith, J.
  • The Best and the Brightest — Halberstam, D.
  • Quest for Empire — Hansen, K.
  • Anti-Intellectualism in American Life — Hofstadter, R.
  • The American Political Tradition and the Men Who Made It — Hofstadter, R.
  • The Limits of Intervention — Hoopes, T.
  • “The Early Accounts of Joseph Smith’s First Vision,” BYU Studies (Spring, 1969) — Jessee, D. C.
  • The Agony of the American Left — Lasch, C.
  • Politics: Who Gets What, When, How — Lasswell, H. D.
  • American as a Civilization — Lerner, M.
  • Autobiography of Malcolm X — Malcolm X
  • The Restoration Movement: Essays in Mormon History — McKiernan, M., et al.
  • Understanding Media — McLuhan, M.
  • An American Dilemma: The Negro Problem and Modern Democracy — Myrdal, G.
  • The Mormons (particularly Chapter 9 and the Epilogue) — O’Dea, T. F.
  • The Status Seekers — Packer, V.
  • The God of Economic Growth — Phelps, E.
  • The Lonely Crowd — Riesman, D.
  • Readings in Economics — Samuelson, P.
  • The Time of Illusion — Shell
  • “The Prophet Puzzle”, Journal of Mormon History I (1974) — Shipps, J.
  • The Road to Serfdom — Von Hayek, F.
Impact of Science on Man’s World View
  • The Wellsprings of Life — Asmiov, I.
  • Science and Religion — Barbour, I.
  • The Universe and Doctor Einstein — Barnett, L.
  • The Restless Universe — Born, M.
  • Science and Human Values; The Ascent of Man — Bronowski, J.
  • The Challenge of Man’s Future — Brown, H.
  • Violent Universe: An Eyewitness Account of the New Astronomy — Calder, N.
  • Readings in General Psychology — Snow[?], C. & A.
  • Problems of Knowledge: Philosophy, Science and HIstory — Cassirer, E.
  • The Language of Science — Dantzig, T.
  • The Origin of Species; Voyage of the Beagle — Darwin, C.
  • The Physics and Chemistry of Life — Editors, Scientific American
  • The Evolution of Physics — Einstein & Infield
  • Darwin’s Century: Evolution and the Man Who Discovered It — Eiseley, L.
  • Man and the Changing Environment — Franke
  • A General Introduction to Psychoanalysis; The Interpretation of Dreams — Freud, S.
  • An Introduction to Language — Fromkin, V.
  • Great Essays in Science — Gardner, M.
  • The Strange Story of the Quantum — Hoffman, B.
  • Man in the Modern World — Huxley, J.
  • Noam Chomsky — Lyons, J.
  • Motivation and Personality — Maslow, A.
  • The Origins of Life on Earth — Miller & Orgel
  • Life on the Planet Earth — Morowitz
  • Landmark Readings — Scientific American
  • The Web of Life — Storer, J. H.
  • The Natural History of Man — Swanson, C. P.
  • The Phenomenon of Man — Teilhard de Chardin, P.
  • On Growth and Form — Thompson, D.
  • Earth in Upheaval — Velikovsky, I. [ack! thppf! I can’t believe someone snuck this on the list]
Contemporary Social Isuses and Ethical Challenges
  • The Origins of Totalitarianism — Arendt, H.
  • Silent Spring — Carson, R.
  • Where Do You Draw The Line? An Exploration into Media Violence, Pornography and Censorship — Cline, V.
  • The Closing Circle — Commoner, B.
  • The Second Sex — de Beauvoir, S.
  • The Wretched of the Earth: Toward the African Revolution — Fanon, F.
  • Man’s Search for Meaning — Frankel, V. E.
  • Escape from Freedom — Fromm, E.
  • The Third Force: A Psychology of Abraham Maslow — Goble, F.
  • The True Believer — Hoffer, E.
  • Social Behavior: Its Elementary Form — Homans, G.
  • Children of Sanchez — Lewis, O.
  • Limits to Growth: A Report for the Club of Rome’s Project on the Predicament of Mankind — Meadows, D. & D, et al.
  • Obedience to Authority — Milgram, S.
  • Environment, Power, and Society — H. T.
  • Beyond Freedom and Dignity — Skinner, B. F.
  • The Gulag Archipelago — Solzhenitsyn
Religious Perspectives
[note: some selections you may expect to find here are actually in the next section]
  • Bible
  • Book of Mormon
  • Doctrine & Covenants
  • Pearl of Great Price
  • Confessions — Augustine
  • Matthew Cowley Speaks — Cowley, M.
  • Freedom of the Will — Edwards, J.
  • Young Man Luther — Erikson, E.
  • Fear and Trembling and the Sickness unto Death — Kierkegaard
  • The Miracle of Forgiveness — Kimball, S. W.
  • Screwtape Letters; Mere Christianity — Lewis, C. S.
  • Eternal Man; Four Essays on Love; Christ and the Inner Life — Madsen, T. G.
  • Gospel Ideals — McKay, D. O.
  • The Seven Storey Mountain — Merton, T.
  • Lehi in the Desert and the World of the Jaredites; Since Cumorah; The Message of the Joseph Smith Papyri: An Egyptian Endowment; “What is a Temple” — Nibley, H. W.
  • A Comprehensive History of the Church; The Gospel; New Witness for God, Vol. 1 — Roberts, B. H.
  • History of the Church; “Sixth Lecture on Faith”; Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith — Smith, J.
  • Doctrines of Salvation — Smith, J. F.
  • Jesus the Christ — Talmage, J. E.
  • Dynamics of Faith — Tillich, P.
  • “Socialization, Self-Deception, and Freedom through Faith” — Warner, C. T.
  • A Rational Theology — Widtsoe, J. a.
  • Discourses of Brigham Young — Young, B.
Philosophy, Politial Theory and Speculation
  • Sections from the Summa Theologica — Aquinus
  • Nichomachean Ethics — Aristotle
  • City of God — Augustine
  • Ideas and Man — Brinton, C.
  • The Analects — Confucius
  • Discourse on Method — Descartes, R. (tr. Wollaston)
  • Democracy in America — deToqueville, A.
  • Human Nature and Conduct — Dewey, J.
  • The American Scholar — Emerson, R. W.
  • The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire — Gibbon, E.
  • The Federalist Papers — Hamilton, J. & M. (ed. A. Hacker)
  • On History — Hegel
  • Leviathan — Hobbs, T.
  • An Enquiry Concerning Human Understanding — Hume, D.
  • Varieties of Religious Experience; Pragmatism — James, W.
  • Prolegomena to Any Future Metaphysic…; Critique of Pure Reason — Kant, I.
  • The Economic Consequences of the Peace — Keynes, J. M.
  • Tao Te Ching — Lao Tzu (tr. D. C. Lau)
  • Philosophy and the Modern World — Levi, A.
  • Second Treatise on Government — Locke, J.
  • Of the Nature of Things — Lucretius
  • The Prince — Machiavelli
  • Mediation — Marcus Aurelius
  • Early Writings; Das Kapital; The Communist Manifesto — Marx, K.
  • On Liberty — Mill, J. S.
  • Essays — Montaigne, M.
  • Spirit of the Laws — Montesquieu, C. (tr. Thomas Nugent)
  • Thus Spake Zarathustra — Nietzche, F. (tr. Kaufman)
  • Pensées — Pascal, B.
  • Republic; Apology — Plato
  • The Social Contract — Rousseau, J.-J.
  • The Lost Puritan — Santayana, G.
  • Wealth of Nations — Smith, A.
  • The Decline of the West — Spengler, D.
  • Walden; Duty of Civil Disobedience — Thoreau, H. D.
  • Science and Sentiment in America; Social Thought in America; The Revolt against Formalism — White, M.
Aesthetics
  • The Mirror and the Lamp — Abrams, M. H.
  • Poetics — Aristotle
  • Mimesis — Auerbach
  • Aesthetics and History in the Visual Arts — Berenson, B.
  • The Rhetoric of Fiction — Booth, W. C.
  • Shakespearean Tragedy — Bradley, A. C.
  • The Creative Process — Brewster, C.
  • What to Listen for in Music — Copland, A.
  • Arts and the Man — Edman, I.
  • Theatre of the Absurd — Esslin, M.
  • Anatomy of Criticism — Frye, N.
  • The Painter’s Eye — Grosser, M. R.
  • Deeper into Movies — Kael, P.
  • Letters — Keats, J.
  • Poesis — Kitto, D. H. F.
  • The Wheel of Fire — Knight, G. W.
  • The Great Tradition — Leavis, F. R.
  • The Gates of Horn: A Study of Five French Realists — Levin, H.
  • Film as Film — Perkins, V. F.
  • Practical Criticism — Richards, I. A.
  • The Sense of Beauty — Santayana, G.
  • Death of Tragedy; Language and Silence — Steiner, G.
  • Four Stages of Renaissance Style; Rococo to Cubism in Art and Literature — Sypher, W.
  • Concepts of Criticism; Theory of Literature — Wellek, R.
  • Axel’s Castle; The Triple Thinkers — Wilson, E.
  • Primitive Art — Wingert, P. S.