Tuesday, March 3, 2015
How will you measure your life?
Wake up each morning thinking how lucky you are to be able to spend the day doing what you love.
Even when you know what your true priorities are, you'll have to fight to uphold them in your mind every day. Emergent and deliberate opportunities and strategies.
The hot water that softens a carrot will harden an egg
The time when its most important to invest in building strong families and close friendships is when it appears on the surface as if it's not necessary.
Investing for future happiness
Invest in relationships before you need their returns. Do the work to maintain friendships.
Doing what we want vs what they need from the friendship
The clock of building a good relationship is ticking from the start
What job are you being hired to do (in family and friendships) "high yield" friend
Find someone you want to make happy
Help your children learn how to do difficult things; how to handle set backs and high stress.
We take different "life lessons" classes
Resources (Lucy/ appearance of perfection vs processes (Lynn/ life's lessons)
As parents, reverse engineer the right life experiences they will need.
If you're not occasionally failing you're not aiming high enough. Celebrate failure when it's you're child striving for an out of reach goal.
What lessons do my kids need?
Unvarnished feedback
Deliberate plans for family culture and priorities vs emergent opportunities and challenges that occur in life.
Upfront costs.
It's hard to see the costs of not investing. Eventually pay the price. Invest in future.
Extraordinarily clear sense of purpose/ the person I want to become: deliberately conceived, chosen, managed
1) likeness (vision/goals). Who do I truly want to become?
2) commitment/ conversion to likeness. Convert your life to living it.
3) metric (measurable) How many individuals have I helped 1:1? Seek opportunities to help people tailored to their ind circumstances.
Focus on resolving other's challenges.
Clarity of purpose trumps awards, grades, etc.
Don't cross the line "just this once" bc Life is just one unending stream of extenuating circumstances.
Ezra Taft benson
"One of the joys of working with boys is the fact that you do get your pay as you go along. You have an opportunity to observe the results of your leadership daily as you work with them through the years and watch them grow into stalwart manhood, accepting eagerly its challenges and responsibilities. Such satisfaction cannot be purchased at any price; it must be earned through service and devotion. What a glorious thing it is to have even a small part in helping to build boys into men, real men.”
"I prayed and fasted for the Lord to help me know how I could help him be of greatest service to his fellowmen..."
“I am going to do all within my power to help him be known and felt for good, not only in this little community but for the entire world to know him.” -Flora
"She has always shown more faith in me than I have myself."
"If I had it to do over again, I would follow very much the same course"
"The Book of Mormon has not been, nor is it yet, the center of our personal study, family teaching, preaching, and missionary work. Of this we must repent."
"There is a power in the book.. which will begin to flow into your lives the moment you begin a serious study of the book.” ...“flood the earth and lives with the Book of Mormon.”
The great task of life is to learn the will of the Lord and then do it.
When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities.
The price of privilege
Motivation needs to come from the inside. Let them set their own bar high.
Who's needs are these? Mine or parents?
A sense of lovability is the core of a healthy self-development.
Loved and valued for mere existence as well as for particular endowments
"Outstanding" children are those who have developed a self that is authentic, capable, loving, creative, in control of itself, and moral.
Self-efficacy: personal capability
Focus on and praise effort, not the end result
Self- management: self control, frustration management, impulse control, delay gratification= Maturity
Our primary responsibility as parents is not to gratify our children, but to make certain that they develop skills that will help them meet life's challenges and disappointments.
Affluent kids haven't had enough bad things happen to them
"Any child that has not been bandaged has not been well parented." Dr. Spock
Children need a mother who is sensitive to both the internal and external feelings and experiences of her child. She reflects interest and the delight in her child's very existence, helping the child to define himself as someone worthy of interest, appreciation, and love.
Zestful and involved motherly interaction
Generosity of spirit: consumerism vs philanthropy
Healthy "internal homes" put at ease internally and in the world. Built from warm and loving parent- child relationships that send the message: "you're worth caring about. I value you and how I feel about you does not rest on your performance or ability to please others"
Tyler resented his over-achieving parents who couldn't love and accept his authentic quiet, kind, loving, and cooperative real self. So what if James wants to be a fireman and Dan wants to be a farmer? Both of those are respectable, honorable, and fulfilling professions and lives. Mike and I both had our calm, slow, not showy childhoods, maybe that's what our boys will choose for adulthood.
Age 0-8: mirror= mother
Avoid criticism, generalizations, and labeling/ name calling
Once a child forms a negative impression of himself, it is very difficult to change
Be interested in whatever excites your child, even if that's trucks instead of math and reading.
Be kind to your child. Your child is eager to please you.
8-12: "There's nobody nicer than a ten year old" -Ames
Maintain perspective and don't cut off interests prematurely
Children need to see that we value their character first, their effort second, and then their grades
Allow children to explore, learn, and create without the pressure of scrutiny and constant evaluation
Age 12-14: Mirror=peers
Help them feel loved and worthwhile at a time when they are generally feeling insecure and vulnerable.
Teens are still very dependent on parents-- not a time to back off. Amidst protest and rejection, work to maintain connected
When a parent can tolerate some criticism from their teens, they are teaching them that one does not have to be perfect to be okay
Age 15-17) "who is the real me?"
Moodiness occurs as level of self worth swings back and forth.
Letting go of reassuring childhood dependency it is hard for us and harder for her children.
When we mitigate natural consequences, we deprive our children out of one of life's most important lessons: that we are held accountable for actions.
Development is aided by understanding the parents. We all yearn to be loved for who we are, not just for what we do.
Autonomy: independent & capable
Importance of finding a balance between connection (warmth) and discipline (control)= connecting with our kids and providing boundaries
The one thing we have control over is how we parent-- at the same time, we need to retain compassion for ourselves as we still stumble upon some of our less desirable strategies
-authoritarian parents are more demanding of their children than they are responsive to their needs
-permissive parents are warm friends who are afraid to show enforce boundaries
-authoritative parents are warm and excepting, yet set clearly defined limits and expectations. They are demanding and responsive. Support rather than criticism or punishment encourages children to meet expectations.
Value: cooperation, responsibility, self-regulation, achievement, self-motivation, independence, connection
Warm, but capable of appropriate discipline. Committed to supporting a high degree of autonomy.
Acceptance: In spite of inevitable disappointments, the essence of your child remains dear to you.
Understanding: take the time to really listen
Investment: Child will not be emotionally abandoned in times of fear or distress.
Know and value the idiosyncratic, unique child who stands in front of us.
Make sure your child knows that, if given a choice of all the children in the world, he is the one you would choose.
Praise for ethical behavior and sincere effort needs to be balanced with expressions of disappointment and correction for hurtful behavior and lazy effort.
Praise is not warmth and is usually manipulative and controlling. It gives the wrong message to a child. What the kid needs to know is that we love them and care about them regardless of actions or performance
Accept our children as the unique creatures that they are, even while we're working to help them cultivate interests and talents and become good, responsible, productive people.
Criticism, our difficulty tolerating imperfection: attacks the child's value; the unique individual standing in front of us. This feeds feelings of self-hatred.
How is my own inner talk? Am I critical or do I treat myself kindly
Kids want and need limits.
The likelihood of showing restraint is increased by our attachment to a loving parent or partner.
Behavioral vs psychological control
Separate their needs for mine
Perfectionism: precursor of depression
While lapses (yelling, belittling,) are inevitable, making amends and taking responsibility is essential
Value: relationships, downtime, freedom to think creativity, lack of self-consciousness
Vs. Notion of "not good enough"
Absolute best versus personal best
Perfectionism is driven by a need to avoid failure to appear flawless-- to hide feelings of insecurity and vulnerability.
Art of living: take pleasure from efforts and successes and tolerate limitations
We need our eyes open to the people standing in front of us with varying degrees of talent, ambition, capacity, and desire.
Bullying feeds off indifference of community
A happy child begins with a mother who has her basic needs met.
We need to be compassionate and more charitable with ourselves.
A father's greatest impact is his ability to nurture his wife.
Internal resources: friends, interests, support, clear priorities, and clarity about her own life story.
As we are able to feel generally loved, valued, and connected, so will our children.
Happier women make happier mothers and wives.
Being open about struggles and challenges help model resilience, active approaches to problem-solving, and compassion for oneself.
Children are exquisitely tuned to their mothers state of mind p208
Take advantage of opportunities to teach that while life isn't always fair, pain is always used by love and connection
There will be times when we need to sit down, look a person in the eye and say out loud that something is wrong and we want to help.
The healthy sense of self that we want so desperately for children must first exist in ourselves.
Warmth protects child development
The "good enough mother"
Children thrive best when their mothers take care of themselves as well as their children
The best gift you can give your children is a good marriage
There is no perfect parent. We will always carry around disappointments from our own childhood.
Parent with warmth and acceptance instead of pressure and criticism
Commit to nurturing them with warmth, clear limits, firm consequences and a delight in their potential and uniqueness
We all yearn to be loved for who we are, not just for what we do
Let us truly see, truly appreciate, and truly love the child who stands in front of us
The most influential people in my life are the ones that know me and still like me and believe in me. Grampy, woodruff, Maureen,
Parenting: being a gracious recipient of the precious spirit you have been called to care for.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Love is a Verb- MEE
There are gaps and needs in each soul. Interdependant.
Turn lives over to god. He can do more with our lives than we can. ETB
Eph 4:32 tender hearted
Service with compassion often involves sacrifice and inconvenience.
If we're willing, god will use us. Requires courage.
As a result of the anonymous gift I looked at everyone differently. (bed rest- how could I ever verbally or mentally criticize her again?)
Competition, comparing, jealousy drain out batteries.
Best friend who is also my sister.
Healthy Living 365- Douglass
Satan works hard every day to deceive us. Infiltrating our food supply with [junk]. Sugar is a subtle yet powerful way to get us down. He wants us to eat a bunch of junk that provides temporal satisfaction only. He is jealous of your physical body and wants you to degrade yours. You are stronger than he is. Let that give you the willpower and determination to make the healthier choice today.
- we say things to and about ourselves that we would never say to someone else. Don't say anything negative about yourself. Think about your positive attributes.
- our environment is one with too much food and too few opportunities to move.
- 1 tsp salt/ day
- food usage: survival, comfort, growth, activity, storage. Is this really fuel for my body? Or is it just storage food I want to eat to satisfy a craving?
- choose. Be open minded. You have the world at your fingertips. You can eat the candy OR eat an apple, nuts, etc. or make a phone call, read a book, or just sit and relax. When presented with the choice, what will I choose.
- 1 tbsp flax/ day
- Brown rice. Oatmeal. Beans. canola oil. Kiwi. Almonds. Squash. Sweet potatoes. Mrs. Dash.
- Cut back on cheese, dressings, and butter
- crock pot chicken: taco seasoning, enchilada sauce, salad, rice
- Eat to be spiritually and physically strong. To feel our best and live to our full potential.
- 1800 cal. 30 g fat. 30 min exc. 5-7 a day.
- a positive attitude is what makes you vibrant, healthy, and happy-- on the inside and out.
- Quality of life is improved with Exercise and healthy living.
- If you want to be healthy for a lifetime, you have to work on it for a lifetime. Period.
- Today, don't judge, label, or classify a single soul. We all deserve better than classification.
- active. Eat healthy most of the time. Feel good about yourself and those you interact with.
- if it tempts you, don't buy it.
- Exc 125-145 bpm
- Fight for your health in this unhealthy world.
- Plan accordingly for unhealthy external activities. Extra workout, limited calories in adv, pack along healthy alternatives.
- Give up something good for something better. Exc vs TV, fruit Popsicle vs 2nd cookie.
- Try and try again to stay on track.
- Write/ post notes throughout house. Recommit to feeling healthy and strong.
- exc 60 min/ day or 7 hrs a wk
- keep a daily log of your time to see where it went
- brush teeth to curb cravings
- why cave in to food temptations that cause negative feelings? Eat food that helps me feel nourished, confident, healthy, alert, peaceful and in control.
- we all Have to exc to survive and feel good in this very unhealthy world. Strength training.
- An apple every day
- your body was given to you as a gift- an instrument to help you accomplish the lords work.
- If you're taking care if yourself then don't criticize how you look.
- Self-Confidence is the key motivator in taking care of self.
- Never think or say these words again: I'm on a diet. I need to lose weight. Fat. Skinny. Flabby. cellulite. spare tire. Gut.
- Replace with: Healthy. Strong. Energetic. Happy. Think and say Positive words.
- breathe. Relax. Comfortable in your own skin.
- try to burn at least 300 cal/ day
- pick a goal you can feel, not see.
- Think of Exercise as a needed daily dose of medicine. You can spend I e hour now or 24 later fighting for your health.
- eat food for its primary purpose to nourish the body.
- have a healthy snack basket or shelf.
- take care of yourself to feel good. Priorities. Peace. Confidence.
- identify my setback foods
- Eat it and wear it. Am I willing to wear the burden, guilt, frustrating, lessened energy, grumpiness, etc.
- Do plyometrics when craving junk. Get the heart pumping.
- Pray. Unhealthy eating is like any other temptation. Pray for help and strength to overcome.
- Normal Eating: eating when hungry and stopping when satisfied, leaving half a treat for later bc you know it will still be there tomorrow, showing restraint bc it's not healthy to have everything you want, trusting yourself to make healthy choices and holding yourself accountable for unhealthy ones.
- Master the concept of Moderation.
- kids need at least 60 min of moderate to vigorous exercise every day.
- Make the time to enjoy life and live well.
- It's not normal to Love exercising Every day, but we have to do it. For its life changing benefits.
- 500 cal/ meal with s few healthy snacks. 1500-2000/ day.
- Eat healthy, exercise regularly, think positively about yourself, stay committed to health goals.
- You're going to have to fight for your right to be healthy.
- we say things to and about ourselves that we would never say to someone else. Don't say anything negative about yourself. Think about your positive attributes.
- our environment is one with too much food and too few opportunities to move.
- 1 tsp salt/ day
- food usage: survival, comfort, growth, activity, storage. Is this really fuel for my body? Or is it just storage food I want to eat to satisfy a craving?
- choose. Be open minded. You have the world at your fingertips. You can eat the candy OR eat an apple, nuts, etc. or make a phone call, read a book, or just sit and relax. When presented with the choice, what will I choose.
- 1 tbsp flax/ day
- Brown rice. Oatmeal. Beans. canola oil. Kiwi. Almonds. Squash. Sweet potatoes. Mrs. Dash.
- Cut back on cheese, dressings, and butter
- crock pot chicken: taco seasoning, enchilada sauce, salad, rice
- Eat to be spiritually and physically strong. To feel our best and live to our full potential.
- 1800 cal. 30 g fat. 30 min exc. 5-7 a day.
- a positive attitude is what makes you vibrant, healthy, and happy-- on the inside and out.
- Quality of life is improved with Exercise and healthy living.
- If you want to be healthy for a lifetime, you have to work on it for a lifetime. Period.
- Today, don't judge, label, or classify a single soul. We all deserve better than classification.
- active. Eat healthy most of the time. Feel good about yourself and those you interact with.
- if it tempts you, don't buy it.
- Exc 125-145 bpm
- Fight for your health in this unhealthy world.
- Plan accordingly for unhealthy external activities. Extra workout, limited calories in adv, pack along healthy alternatives.
- Give up something good for something better. Exc vs TV, fruit Popsicle vs 2nd cookie.
- Try and try again to stay on track.
- Write/ post notes throughout house. Recommit to feeling healthy and strong.
- exc 60 min/ day or 7 hrs a wk
- keep a daily log of your time to see where it went
- brush teeth to curb cravings
- why cave in to food temptations that cause negative feelings? Eat food that helps me feel nourished, confident, healthy, alert, peaceful and in control.
- we all Have to exc to survive and feel good in this very unhealthy world. Strength training.
- An apple every day
- your body was given to you as a gift- an instrument to help you accomplish the lords work.
- If you're taking care if yourself then don't criticize how you look.
- Self-Confidence is the key motivator in taking care of self.
- Never think or say these words again: I'm on a diet. I need to lose weight. Fat. Skinny. Flabby. cellulite. spare tire. Gut.
- Replace with: Healthy. Strong. Energetic. Happy. Think and say Positive words.
- breathe. Relax. Comfortable in your own skin.
- try to burn at least 300 cal/ day
- pick a goal you can feel, not see.
- Think of Exercise as a needed daily dose of medicine. You can spend I e hour now or 24 later fighting for your health.
- eat food for its primary purpose to nourish the body.
- have a healthy snack basket or shelf.
- take care of yourself to feel good. Priorities. Peace. Confidence.
- identify my setback foods
- Eat it and wear it. Am I willing to wear the burden, guilt, frustrating, lessened energy, grumpiness, etc.
- Do plyometrics when craving junk. Get the heart pumping.
- Pray. Unhealthy eating is like any other temptation. Pray for help and strength to overcome.
- Normal Eating: eating when hungry and stopping when satisfied, leaving half a treat for later bc you know it will still be there tomorrow, showing restraint bc it's not healthy to have everything you want, trusting yourself to make healthy choices and holding yourself accountable for unhealthy ones.
- Master the concept of Moderation.
- kids need at least 60 min of moderate to vigorous exercise every day.
- Make the time to enjoy life and live well.
- It's not normal to Love exercising Every day, but we have to do it. For its life changing benefits.
- 500 cal/ meal with s few healthy snacks. 1500-2000/ day.
- Eat healthy, exercise regularly, think positively about yourself, stay committed to health goals.
- You're going to have to fight for your right to be healthy.
Monday, April 2, 2012
You Can Control Your Class- Gudmundsen
Balance between freedom and discipline
trust and respect; train and guide
Take the time to develop a productive learning atmostphere. Is this behavior fair to the rest of the class?
Rules are made crystal-clear, limits are set, measures are taken to enforce them
Students know exactly what it is you want them to do, and they realize the importance of doing it.
Explain- Demonstrate- Practice- Retrain
Three Cardinal Rules:
1) Wait for student's attention before talking
2) Know what your students are doing at all times
3) Praise in public and reprove in private
Praise should be honest and in proportion to efforts
Keep the students busy with something meaningful that they can do, Have a plan for disruptive students, Have two or three simple rules, avoid arguing with students
Voice: soft, controlled, calm, reassuring, lowering voice at the end of a sentence. Bring your voice down and so will they.
Eliminate almost all need for punishment. Two types of students: those who follow instructions the first time they are told and those who need a little extra drill and practice.
Least is best: Good teaching practices (self-start, class mtgs, voice, preparation, busy with meaningful work)--retraining and reproving in private--punishment--conferencing
trust and respect; train and guide
Take the time to develop a productive learning atmostphere. Is this behavior fair to the rest of the class?
Rules are made crystal-clear, limits are set, measures are taken to enforce them
Students know exactly what it is you want them to do, and they realize the importance of doing it.
Explain- Demonstrate- Practice- Retrain
Three Cardinal Rules:
1) Wait for student's attention before talking
2) Know what your students are doing at all times
3) Praise in public and reprove in private
Praise should be honest and in proportion to efforts
Keep the students busy with something meaningful that they can do, Have a plan for disruptive students, Have two or three simple rules, avoid arguing with students
Voice: soft, controlled, calm, reassuring, lowering voice at the end of a sentence. Bring your voice down and so will they.
Eliminate almost all need for punishment. Two types of students: those who follow instructions the first time they are told and those who need a little extra drill and practice.
Least is best: Good teaching practices (self-start, class mtgs, voice, preparation, busy with meaningful work)--retraining and reproving in private--punishment--conferencing
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
For All Eternity by Lund
Frustration comes from unmet expectations
Speak so clearly that we are not misunderstood
Content communicator. No guessing.
Communicate with respect. As equals.
Who owns the expectation?
Own your expectations.
24 hrs of no criticism
A. A. B. A. A. A. A. B. A. A. A. A.
A. A. C. A. B. C. B. B. B. A. A. A.
A. A. A. 18 A. 6B. 2C
Unconditional love and acceptance.
Magnificent 7 daily
I love you with eye contact
15 min spouse's choice
Note of appreciation
Hug 10 sec
Kiss 5 sec
Talk 30 min
Stop seeking the storms and more fully enjoy the sunlight.
Alpha wolf. Feed love
Cultivate the art of complimenting and bldg. March 6, 94. Hinkley.
Complaining is something that children do. powerless.
Past. Learn from it. Forgive.
Hes had what he could. No more of me my today's or my tomorrow.
Build a history of positive behavior
Take our love to our families and our frustrations to the lord.
Who needs your live and not your condemnation.
Her sins are forgiven for she has loved much
Speak so clearly that we are not misunderstood
Content communicator. No guessing.
Communicate with respect. As equals.
Who owns the expectation?
Own your expectations.
24 hrs of no criticism
A. A. B. A. A. A. A. B. A. A. A. A.
A. A. C. A. B. C. B. B. B. A. A. A.
A. A. A. 18 A. 6B. 2C
Unconditional love and acceptance.
Magnificent 7 daily
I love you with eye contact
15 min spouse's choice
Note of appreciation
Hug 10 sec
Kiss 5 sec
Talk 30 min
Stop seeking the storms and more fully enjoy the sunlight.
Alpha wolf. Feed love
Cultivate the art of complimenting and bldg. March 6, 94. Hinkley.
Complaining is something that children do. powerless.
Past. Learn from it. Forgive.
Hes had what he could. No more of me my today's or my tomorrow.
Build a history of positive behavior
Take our love to our families and our frustrations to the lord.
Who needs your live and not your condemnation.
Her sins are forgiven for she has loved much
Women of Destiny
Women of Destiny: Reflection on the relief society declaration
We must have the courage to be imperfect
Distraught and distracted are side effects of living life in the fast lane
Where is the inner stillness? PHolland oct 87
The home it is not a monastery for perfect people sometimes it is a hospital where we nurse and take care of those we love. Holland 1997
I have come to believe that whatever we really want, we'll probably get. 50 years from now what we have become shouldn't surprise us because we will have become what we have set our hearts upon. Dew
At youth, our face reveals genetics. at 50 we have the face we deserve. TG Madsen
You gain strength courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt
Story: Mary fielding smith. Faith to have ox healed.
Desire faith prayer hope patientce courage love
To give of one's self is a holy gift SW Kimball
The one sure measure on a person's conversion is how he or she treated others
Do you want to be happy forget yourself and get lost in this great cods lend your efforts to helping people work to lift and serve his sons and daughters you will come to know hey happiness that you have never known GB Hinckley
(Religion) is manifested by the kind of people we are ...by the way we treat other people MD hanks
The royal law of love 1988
If you will always be more fair and more kind to others then a few of them may sometimes be to you, you will enjoy every sweet blessing life affords
When we put God first all other things phone into their proper place or drop out of our lives would be great Commandments 198 8ET Benson
Who could be trusted more (as a mentor) then this combination: the Lord, his mouth piece, and the Holy Ghost the VH PIerce 96
Prayer is not a matter of asking only it should not be always as the beggars upturned hand. often the purpose of prayer is to give us strength to do what needs to be done, wisdom to see the way to solve our problems, and ability to do our best in our tasks. elder RL Evans 73
Hearing aids:
1-revitalize your Sunday worship
2- pray to know God's will
3- immerse self in Scriptures
Doxey 91
I am satisfied, however, that in this (direction from the spirit) respect we live far beneath our privileges. Brigham young 1867
Leader in the home in the warm spirit of the priesthood.
With good humor andgood disposition and genuine consideration of the needs of the other they set out to make it a happy life.
Married people are sweethearts. They should be best friends. dearer to me and life than life itself.
Eternal Marriage MD Hanks 84
The most important thing we can do with our time is to strengthen our family members. to build homes inside of houses. Make home and family your treasure. wholeheartedly give them your time, energ,y and avid attention. VJensen '02
We give for each other on a daily basis when we endeavor always to make each other happy. I know of no other place then home where more happiness can be found in this life. I picture heaven to be a continuation of the ideal home. Choules 94
The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other ET Benson 82
Femininity is the divine adornment of humanity. It is part of your inner beauty. Faust 2000
The world has enough women who are tough. We need women who are tender, refined, faith, goodness, purity Nadauld 2000
The church leaders need women of the church to stand with us and for us. together we must stand faithful and firm hunter 92
Every thing we do can be performed in a spirit of selfless love and service me smoot 01
If we are to walk in the steps of the Savior we cannot do it without personal sacrifice and sincere involvement. it is rarely convenient; but love extends beyond convenience for those who have conditioned themselves to look for opportunities to serve. JR Clark 81
Confined to her bed, my mother was always home- attentive, interested, and always available. JH backroom 95's
God does notice us and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. SW Kimball 74
Do not, however, make the mistake of being drawn into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignment as mothers SW Kimball 79
"It's about time" and choices M E Edmonds 98
We want our homes to be blessed with sister scriptorians. distinct and different. SWKimball
Temple. Sacrifice of time. Serving vicariously is a sacrifice that purifies our hearts. Eternal perspective. Natures change. Just being there does not sanctify us. VHPierce 01
We go to love temple to make covenants, but we go home to keep the covenants that we have made.
if I would get to go anywhere in the world, I would go home. I would go home and sit in a big rocking chair and take a couple of grandbabies in my arms and hope that a little of the heavenly dust they still have on them would rub off on me. J B Washburn
The path is not soft, green grass it is not without hardship and heartache. EL Jack 94
D&C 84:88 angels round about
Distraught and distracted are side effects of living life in the fast lane
Where is the inner stillness? PHolland oct 87
The home it is not a monastery for perfect people sometimes it is a hospital where we nurse and take care of those we love. Holland 1997
I have come to believe that whatever we really want, we'll probably get. 50 years from now what we have become shouldn't surprise us because we will have become what we have set our hearts upon. Dew
At youth, our face reveals genetics. at 50 we have the face we deserve. TG Madsen
You gain strength courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. Eleanor Roosevelt
Story: Mary fielding smith. Faith to have ox healed.
Desire faith prayer hope patientce courage love
To give of one's self is a holy gift SW Kimball
The one sure measure on a person's conversion is how he or she treated others
Do you want to be happy forget yourself and get lost in this great cods lend your efforts to helping people work to lift and serve his sons and daughters you will come to know hey happiness that you have never known GB Hinckley
(Religion) is manifested by the kind of people we are ...by the way we treat other people MD hanks
The royal law of love 1988
If you will always be more fair and more kind to others then a few of them may sometimes be to you, you will enjoy every sweet blessing life affords
When we put God first all other things phone into their proper place or drop out of our lives would be great Commandments 198 8ET Benson
Who could be trusted more (as a mentor) then this combination: the Lord, his mouth piece, and the Holy Ghost the VH PIerce 96
Prayer is not a matter of asking only it should not be always as the beggars upturned hand. often the purpose of prayer is to give us strength to do what needs to be done, wisdom to see the way to solve our problems, and ability to do our best in our tasks. elder RL Evans 73
Hearing aids:
1-revitalize your Sunday worship
2- pray to know God's will
3- immerse self in Scriptures
Doxey 91
I am satisfied, however, that in this (direction from the spirit) respect we live far beneath our privileges. Brigham young 1867
Leader in the home in the warm spirit of the priesthood.
With good humor andgood disposition and genuine consideration of the needs of the other they set out to make it a happy life.
Married people are sweethearts. They should be best friends. dearer to me and life than life itself.
Eternal Marriage MD Hanks 84
The most important thing we can do with our time is to strengthen our family members. to build homes inside of houses. Make home and family your treasure. wholeheartedly give them your time, energ,y and avid attention. VJensen '02
We give for each other on a daily basis when we endeavor always to make each other happy. I know of no other place then home where more happiness can be found in this life. I picture heaven to be a continuation of the ideal home. Choules 94
The secret of a happy marriage is to serve God and each other ET Benson 82
Femininity is the divine adornment of humanity. It is part of your inner beauty. Faust 2000
The world has enough women who are tough. We need women who are tender, refined, faith, goodness, purity Nadauld 2000
The church leaders need women of the church to stand with us and for us. together we must stand faithful and firm hunter 92
Every thing we do can be performed in a spirit of selfless love and service me smoot 01
If we are to walk in the steps of the Savior we cannot do it without personal sacrifice and sincere involvement. it is rarely convenient; but love extends beyond convenience for those who have conditioned themselves to look for opportunities to serve. JR Clark 81
Confined to her bed, my mother was always home- attentive, interested, and always available. JH backroom 95's
God does notice us and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. SW Kimball 74
Do not, however, make the mistake of being drawn into secondary tasks which will cause the neglect of your eternal assignment as mothers SW Kimball 79
"It's about time" and choices M E Edmonds 98
We want our homes to be blessed with sister scriptorians. distinct and different. SWKimball
Temple. Sacrifice of time. Serving vicariously is a sacrifice that purifies our hearts. Eternal perspective. Natures change. Just being there does not sanctify us. VHPierce 01
We go to love temple to make covenants, but we go home to keep the covenants that we have made.
if I would get to go anywhere in the world, I would go home. I would go home and sit in a big rocking chair and take a couple of grandbabies in my arms and hope that a little of the heavenly dust they still have on them would rub off on me. J B Washburn
The path is not soft, green grass it is not without hardship and heartache. EL Jack 94
D&C 84:88 angels round about
Love and logic for early childhood
Make the home as similar as possible to the real world
To save or not to save? That is the question
No warnings
How many choices can I give them today?
Hitting, throwing, yelling, screaming, kicking, throwing tantrums equals automatic bedroom
Learning from the pain of poor choices must happen in a loving way
Hold of your tongue and refrain from sarcasm
Good thinking! you figured that out by yourself!
Go hard of hearing, but explain why become a broken record
Expected to solve own problems
Wise parents do whatever they can to meet their young children's needs. They set limits on wants.
There is 1 cardinal rule for the first few months of a child's life: do everything to meet your infant's basic needs! p123
Notice and value their interests
Keep it simple and have fun
Toy Bermuda triangle. Feel free to keep the toys you pick up
Key phrase: oh dear. That's too bad. Looks like a little bedroom time. Gently lead or carry child to his room Keep them locked in the room until they have calmed down. May last longer than an hour. Act. Keep mouth shut.
Do not say a word. Let the actions speak for themselves.
Actions speak louder than words
Pour on the attention when sweet
Everything you say is gold.
Listen the first time
Control: the more we give, the more we get
What are you going to do to fix this?
Change child's location and remove offending objects
Both the parents and the child feel good afterward
Energy drain: how are you going to recharge me?
The babysitter routine: how are you planning on paying for the babysitter?
I'm going to have to do something about this, but not now
Spanking: we used to do that but not anymore
Set up the limit once and follow through
Children learn to behave differently for different adults based on what is expected of them (nurser, primary, friends)
Started when the kids are young enough to carry, so can enjoy teen years with kids who are respectful, responsible, and fun to be around.
Power of roughhousing
Leaders: set limits and get people to fall in love with them.
Dictators bark orders, inhibit problem solving, and create teenagers that can't think for themselves
Helicopter/search and rescue: hover no accountability, hostile dependency, resentment
Simple actions taken early on avoid major, painful ones later in life
Anger and frustration feed Misbehavior
Set the limit once and follow through
Don't: use threats you can't back up, try to reason with a child when upset, get frustrated angry or give in to demands.
Do: go brain-dead, smile, pause and explain; choose an empathetic one liner and deliver with compassion. Keep repeating the one-liner: "I love you too much to argue"
if the child continues, walk away
Give away healthy control within limits and take away unhealthy control that damages relationships. Sometimes we have to make our kids really mad so they can be happier and more responsible long-term
What are you feeding that kid? "Chores"
Meaningful chores give children a sense of purpose and a sense of really being needed. They believe they can accomplish almost anything if they work hard enough. Let them work through challenging tasks and problems. Play together and work together at an early age
Do not pay for chores. They are a contribution to the family. Build positive feelings about helping out around the house. Do not nag, remind, hover, or warn.
Children make fewer mistakes when we know longer fear that they will
A cowboy that bonds with his colts can easily break them when grown.
What I liked most:Set the limit once. No reminders. Act
Physically remove child from situation.
Add latches outside of bedroom door
Key phrases: oh dear, I love you too much to...
Offer frequent and more choices
No warnings
How many choices can I give them today?
Hitting, throwing, yelling, screaming, kicking, throwing tantrums equals automatic bedroom
Learning from the pain of poor choices must happen in a loving way
Hold of your tongue and refrain from sarcasm
Good thinking! you figured that out by yourself!
Go hard of hearing, but explain why become a broken record
Expected to solve own problems
Wise parents do whatever they can to meet their young children's needs. They set limits on wants.
There is 1 cardinal rule for the first few months of a child's life: do everything to meet your infant's basic needs! p123
Notice and value their interests
Keep it simple and have fun
Toy Bermuda triangle. Feel free to keep the toys you pick up
Key phrase: oh dear. That's too bad. Looks like a little bedroom time. Gently lead or carry child to his room Keep them locked in the room until they have calmed down. May last longer than an hour. Act. Keep mouth shut.
Do not say a word. Let the actions speak for themselves.
Actions speak louder than words
Pour on the attention when sweet
Everything you say is gold.
Listen the first time
Control: the more we give, the more we get
What are you going to do to fix this?
Change child's location and remove offending objects
Both the parents and the child feel good afterward
Energy drain: how are you going to recharge me?
The babysitter routine: how are you planning on paying for the babysitter?
I'm going to have to do something about this, but not now
Spanking: we used to do that but not anymore
Set up the limit once and follow through
Children learn to behave differently for different adults based on what is expected of them (nurser, primary, friends)
Started when the kids are young enough to carry, so can enjoy teen years with kids who are respectful, responsible, and fun to be around.
Power of roughhousing
Leaders: set limits and get people to fall in love with them.
Dictators bark orders, inhibit problem solving, and create teenagers that can't think for themselves
Helicopter/search and rescue: hover no accountability, hostile dependency, resentment
Simple actions taken early on avoid major, painful ones later in life
Anger and frustration feed Misbehavior
Set the limit once and follow through
Don't: use threats you can't back up, try to reason with a child when upset, get frustrated angry or give in to demands.
Do: go brain-dead, smile, pause and explain; choose an empathetic one liner and deliver with compassion. Keep repeating the one-liner: "I love you too much to argue"
if the child continues, walk away
Give away healthy control within limits and take away unhealthy control that damages relationships. Sometimes we have to make our kids really mad so they can be happier and more responsible long-term
What are you feeding that kid? "Chores"
Meaningful chores give children a sense of purpose and a sense of really being needed. They believe they can accomplish almost anything if they work hard enough. Let them work through challenging tasks and problems. Play together and work together at an early age
Do not pay for chores. They are a contribution to the family. Build positive feelings about helping out around the house. Do not nag, remind, hover, or warn.
Children make fewer mistakes when we know longer fear that they will
A cowboy that bonds with his colts can easily break them when grown.
What I liked most:Set the limit once. No reminders. Act
Physically remove child from situation.
Add latches outside of bedroom door
Key phrases: oh dear, I love you too much to...
Offer frequent and more choices
Outliers
The study of success, in hopes of providing like opportunities to more people.
The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.
Self-fulfilling prophecy: a false definition, in the beginning, evokes a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true.
Accumulative Advantage: abundance of small opportunities make a big difference.
Outliers start out just a little bit better, and consequently, are treated as such early on. High/ gifted groups, better teams
Achievement is talent plus preparation
10,000 hour rule: the thing that distinguishes one performer from the another is how hard he or she works. 2000 vs 10000 by age 20.
It takes ten years of full time practice to hit 10,000 hours and master something.
Bill Gates had a "lucky series of events"
Practical Intelligence: They have the smarts and the Savvy to get what they want from the world. "Knowing what to say to whom, knowing when to say it, and knowing how to say it for maximum effect." p 101
Able to read situations correctly to get what you want.
Entitlement can have two meanings: bratty, whiny, demanding vs. high expectations, respectful relations with authority, confident. Confidence: as good as anyone else and deserving of respectful and good treatment; pride: better than anyone else, hence deserving special treatment. World revolves around them vs being a contribute in a revolving world.
They know the Rules of the Game. An attitude suited to succeeding in the modern world.
"Concerted Cultivation" (providing opportunities and setting children up for success) vs accomplishment of natural growth (caring for)
Comfortable in a variety of settings, and in asking for attention vs timid
Family Background: books, parents with college degrees, sufficient $. Alert, poised, attractive, well dressed. P 112
Successful people don't do it alone.
Satisfying work: autonomy, complexity, and a connection between effort and reward
If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires.
Powers of persuasion and initiative
Communicating in the sense of encouraging, cajoling, calming, negotiating, and sharing information in the clearest and most transparent manner possible. P 192
"Mitigated speech" attempts to downplay or sugarcoat the meaning of what is being said. We mitigate when we're being polite or when were ashamed or embarrassed or when we're being deferential to authority. P 194
Six levels of mitigation: command, obligation statement, suggestion, query, preference, and hint.
Fear of being blunt. Don't be afraid to speak up-- clearly and assertively.
I statements. "I'm concerned about, I'm uncomfortable with..."
Not obnoxious, pushy, or egotistical- just sees the world differently.
All they had to say is, 'we can't do that'
Power Distance Index: level of value and respect for authority and level of special privileges they get. How do we reduce power differences? Equality.
Advocate for opinions in a stronger way.
Western cultural context: if there is confusion, it is the fault of the speaker. Eastern cultures believe it is the fault of the listener.
The aviation industry learned how to make success out of the unsuccessful by taking a look at their culture and 're-norming' them to take the initiative and be straightforward in communications.
No one who can rise before dawn 360 days a year fails to make his family rich.
Outliers work harder than their peers. Working really hard is what successful people do. P 238
It's not so much ability as attitude. Success is a function of persistence and the willingness to work hard rather than giving up quickly.
Those who succeed on the math test are the same students who are willing to concentrate and sit still long enough to focus on answering a lengthy questionnaire. Page 248
Effort and hard work are in direct proportion to success.
Persistence Test: American children lasted 9.4 minutes, Japanese lasted for 13.9 minutes.
SSLANT: smile, sit up, listen, ask questions, nod when being spoken to, and track with your eyes.
School days: US 180, Korea 220, Japan 243.
Endurance, motivation, incentives and rewards, fun, discipline, grit, and self-control.
Meaningful teaching is time-consuming. It seems counterintuitive but we do things at a slower pace and as a result we get through a lot more. Better retention, deepened understanding, plus more relaxed.
KIPP schools transform losers into winners-- because they have 50-60% more learning Time.
Outliers are those who have been given opportunities- and who have had the strength and presence of mind to see them. It is a gift.
What is success to me? What do I hope to succeed at? Wife, mother, neighbor, friend. Serving others, scriptorian, reading,
The values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.
Self-fulfilling prophecy: a false definition, in the beginning, evokes a new behavior which makes the original false conception come true.
Accumulative Advantage: abundance of small opportunities make a big difference.
Outliers start out just a little bit better, and consequently, are treated as such early on. High/ gifted groups, better teams
Achievement is talent plus preparation
10,000 hour rule: the thing that distinguishes one performer from the another is how hard he or she works. 2000 vs 10000 by age 20.
It takes ten years of full time practice to hit 10,000 hours and master something.
Bill Gates had a "lucky series of events"
Practical Intelligence: They have the smarts and the Savvy to get what they want from the world. "Knowing what to say to whom, knowing when to say it, and knowing how to say it for maximum effect." p 101
Able to read situations correctly to get what you want.
Entitlement can have two meanings: bratty, whiny, demanding vs. high expectations, respectful relations with authority, confident. Confidence: as good as anyone else and deserving of respectful and good treatment; pride: better than anyone else, hence deserving special treatment. World revolves around them vs being a contribute in a revolving world.
They know the Rules of the Game. An attitude suited to succeeding in the modern world.
"Concerted Cultivation" (providing opportunities and setting children up for success) vs accomplishment of natural growth (caring for)
Comfortable in a variety of settings, and in asking for attention vs timid
Family Background: books, parents with college degrees, sufficient $. Alert, poised, attractive, well dressed. P 112
Successful people don't do it alone.
Satisfying work: autonomy, complexity, and a connection between effort and reward
If you work hard enough and assert yourself, and use your mind and imagination, you can shape the world to your desires.
Powers of persuasion and initiative
Communicating in the sense of encouraging, cajoling, calming, negotiating, and sharing information in the clearest and most transparent manner possible. P 192
"Mitigated speech" attempts to downplay or sugarcoat the meaning of what is being said. We mitigate when we're being polite or when were ashamed or embarrassed or when we're being deferential to authority. P 194
Six levels of mitigation: command, obligation statement, suggestion, query, preference, and hint.
Fear of being blunt. Don't be afraid to speak up-- clearly and assertively.
I statements. "I'm concerned about, I'm uncomfortable with..."
Not obnoxious, pushy, or egotistical- just sees the world differently.
All they had to say is, 'we can't do that'
Power Distance Index: level of value and respect for authority and level of special privileges they get. How do we reduce power differences? Equality.
Advocate for opinions in a stronger way.
Western cultural context: if there is confusion, it is the fault of the speaker. Eastern cultures believe it is the fault of the listener.
The aviation industry learned how to make success out of the unsuccessful by taking a look at their culture and 're-norming' them to take the initiative and be straightforward in communications.
No one who can rise before dawn 360 days a year fails to make his family rich.
Outliers work harder than their peers. Working really hard is what successful people do. P 238
It's not so much ability as attitude. Success is a function of persistence and the willingness to work hard rather than giving up quickly.
Those who succeed on the math test are the same students who are willing to concentrate and sit still long enough to focus on answering a lengthy questionnaire. Page 248
Effort and hard work are in direct proportion to success.
Persistence Test: American children lasted 9.4 minutes, Japanese lasted for 13.9 minutes.
SSLANT: smile, sit up, listen, ask questions, nod when being spoken to, and track with your eyes.
School days: US 180, Korea 220, Japan 243.
Endurance, motivation, incentives and rewards, fun, discipline, grit, and self-control.
Meaningful teaching is time-consuming. It seems counterintuitive but we do things at a slower pace and as a result we get through a lot more. Better retention, deepened understanding, plus more relaxed.
KIPP schools transform losers into winners-- because they have 50-60% more learning Time.
Outliers are those who have been given opportunities- and who have had the strength and presence of mind to see them. It is a gift.
What is success to me? What do I hope to succeed at? Wife, mother, neighbor, friend. Serving others, scriptorian, reading,
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)